evil_in_me

What a life

2012-01-14T19:40:00.000-08:00

today, i woke up at 8.30am. I guess i had a nice sleep...

my colleague woke me up with a call and as usual, i hesitated...

tried to stand up and with the lights still OFF, i moved around the bed to switch on the light...

proceeded to the bathroom...take a good bath and hope, today will be a better day...

today gotta finish my SFTT presentation. it is one of the tool i need to master for my job, and i have less than 9 days to read and present it to the boss and the senior engineers here...

seriously, it is not an easy as it is damn technical. i remembered when i was young, i told myself that i wont take up a job that requires me to learn technically but at the end, this is what i ended up doing for my life....haizzzz

we planned for life but it is the God who decided how it goes....

and my plan....all ended up, UNDONE....

What a life...

Si beh Suay

2012-01-14T05:43:00.000-08:00

since 24 hours ago, all things went so unwell for me.

first of all, i did my string check for my job (checking the tool) and it just went crazy...

it is not that i dont know how to do it...

but it just happened, i have been Forget this and that....

WHAT I'VE BEEN THINKING?

I tried to get focus but it seems, too many things been bothering me.

even when i drink my tea, i ate a beetle. just imagine when you seriously chew the beetle in your mouth...WTH!!!!

and at night, when i proceed with my tool checking activity, my logging unit produced some burning smell...and i thought it will explode!!!

it seriously freak me out...

i was in the cabin and i am totally lost because i dont know where the smell come from.

1. is it from the panels?

2. or maybe from the electronics section?

or worst case, is it from the computers? if ya...all my works & preparation for whole 3 days will be GONE....

at that moment, i was thinking, should i get the fire extinguisher? if there is fire...i will be ready to put it off....but i didnt do that anyway....

my colleague who is outside the cabin smelled it too....and he came to check it out....

i took a deep breath, calmly switch off all the panels....and called the mechanics for help.

eventually, he cant find anything...and lastly i got to call the maintenance boss, and he sent 2 engineers to check and.....ZERO....nothing is burn and now the BIG QUESTION is, where the smell come from?

i am F**KING stressed because just few more steps, i am done with the string check....its 10pm and i wanted to go home..have my lovely shower and sleep on the soft bed....

and today,

after so many struggles and challenges i have,

the job is cancelled....@#$%^&^%$#$%^&*&^%!!!!!

damn it...

5 minutes

2011-10-22T16:59:00.000-07:00

Yes!!!

5 minutes...thats the time left for me to submit all my work last thursday before i get penalty for submitting late...

I went to my instructor and passed him the survey form...

He looked at the watch and smiled...

*Fook, you still have 5 minutes left to submit your work in front of the gate*

I was stunned for a while... and WHAT????!!!!

I thought i need to submit to you..HEY, are you kidding me??

What else i can do??? with all my works in my hand, i ran like i dont have to breath to the front gate....i took merely less than 2 minutes to reached there, hmmm...around 200m i guess....

I reached the front of the room, its a guard house, and at that time, i realized...I am so *punctured*...

I cant barely breath and i am catching my breath in front of the door, with my hand knocking the door to ensure the guard saw me. Eventually, i submitted my work and i looked at the clock in the room. I still have 5 minutes left....

HAHA...I am lucky? I guess not...i haven turn OFF my PC in the lab and i need to run again...to turn it off before 11pm....

WTF!!!!

Actually i should have extra 1 hour since i need to wait for the tools to get ready during my 15 hours during my FINAL CONFIDENCE LAB....for 1 hour...sigh~

Now, i dont have time to check my logs and i think i am gonna do badly...when i checked it, yes, 3 biggest mistakes i should not make...

Will it cost my future?

ARGHHHHH!!!!!!

I want time machine!!!!!!

Some moment

2011-10-17T14:08:00.000-07:00

7 days...yes....another one week, and the journey as AFP will cut short to HALF...

The time passed by as if everything started last year have no ending and i just gotta move on...

Even when things seem to go against you...

I am excited each time i see challenges ahead of me...

i found my own satisfaction when i am able to do things i think i cant...but eventually, i did it...

However, usually, I tend to screw things up and then make a big circle from where i started to the finish line...

Still, i enjoyed it...

Life is not boring...if we know how to play it right...

Do what you want...and live the way you wanted to be..

Thats it..i am too tired to type anymore..need some rest...:-p

21 hours

2011-10-06T16:01:00.000-07:00

I woke up at 3am this morning. Get myself ready for my next assignment...which last for the next 21 hours that will start at 5am.

I felt so cold and i am hugging myself when i walked into the bathroom to take my only shower for the day...

The hot water failed to play its role as i am freezing + shivering all the way

Looking at myself at the mirror, i know, it would not be long that i will still continue standing with my current condition.

I grabbed warm water and ate 2 tablets of Panadol, with the hope, i will get better for the next 21 hours...

I reached my training centre an hour earlier and get prepared for the jobs. Checking, verification the tools + equipments, and safety meeting with the crews...

I know how much this job appealed, both mentally and physically, that's why i have to make sure i will keep standing even though my body no longer listen to me. I felt kinda dizzy but i am telling myself i gotta pull it through...

once the job started, i totally forgot about how unwell i am and kept working until the end. Currently, looking at the watch, i have 8 hours left to go. It is so weird isn't it? When you are busy with your work, you will probably forget about everything, how fast the time passed by and your body seems to do fine until you are resting on the chair..which i am doing now.....sick again..

Alright, is there any option i have?

i swallowed another 2 tables of panadol again after took my dinner.

Like whats been said, Life isn't so tough if you think positively but here, the question for the day...

How to, if, you are down, mentally and physically???

Cheers....

2011-09-30T15:36:00.000-07:00

There is an old saying, "without trust, there is no love." Is this true?

Well, one thing is for sure: love with trust will definitely lasts a lot longer than love without it...

Losing trust for a partner is not uncommon...I lost it once and it never come back...

Events or personality differences treated the wrong way, will erode trust in our loved one.

Insults, put-downs, disrespect, affairs, flirting (with others), mismanagement of business or money, and numerous other things will all contribute to losing trust too....agree?

So how do we rebuild the trust we all wanted?

The answer is ACCEPTANCE

I believe, the only way to get someone to trust is to accept them for who they are....

There are many differences between people in relationships. From experience, all these differences go beyond the "opposites attract" theory. Being different is vital to a successful relationship, as these differences help us make up for what we lack. With our partner's strengths, we will be a stronger couple than we are individually..

at times, we lose patience and try to rush up things and we didn't realize that we will end up hurting each other...

at times, we did something stupid too bad, there will be no U-turn...

at times, we only realized the trust is GONE ...

There are times, acceptance is not the solution for TRUST anymore...because, once it is lost...it will never be back...

Start from Zero?

2011-09-29T14:37:00.000-07:00

Zero...i believe everyone dislike this word as the way it portrayed, indicate negative impression, due to the way it is being pronounced and sounded..

However, do we ever realized that, we, everyone in this world, started everything from very zero?

Since the day we are born...zero has been the best friend of ours...

we started with zero knowledge, zero skills and zero ability to take care of our self...

Today, look at you, go to the mirror, do you think the word Zero still exist in your life?

For me, the answer will be YES!!! YES!!! YES!!!

Zero is still my best friend....

on 3rd of Nov, i will start a new life with zero, and i wanted to end it with infinity...

I am glad with all the chances given and i appreciate, the fate how God for being so kind to me...

Able to find happiness is definitely the best thing in life...

And zero, thanks for always being the starting point for me....

2011-09-24T17:14:00.000-07:00

at 7.22pm, i am started my job again....and from estimation, my job can be done tomorrow at 11am....

BUT....there is no time to rest....Because i need to produce my log by Monday 8am...

This year and the upcoming year will be the toughest moment in my life...

"But a man never stop working towards his dream until he is dead..."..quoted by my managers

Keep going!!! And never look back....

Fighting!!!

HUHU

2011-09-20T12:47:00.000-07:00

The mission today is running non-stop and i am catching my own breath. A moment ago i was on the machine pulling up and down the tool into the well and now i am sitting on my chair, able to get some fresh air and drink water.

The other 3 guys been done their part and my show will be the last one. I guess i am familiar enough with the job since this morning and i just got to try it hands ON for now.

The boss here said to us, the malaysian guys "you guys going to forget what you did here unless you guys start logging here. maybe you should ask your boss to let you guys work here rather than going back to the location that ended up learning nothing "

Yes, it is indeed true. I told him we worked like kuli in other location and not as an engineer. This is a f**king fact. I been doing job like washing truck, tools and etc rather than doing the job or exposed to how the log is being done.

Haha... so now, take that!!! working in US? nahhh!!!! i doubt it...

reason?

2. the food here is expensive
3. the fuel is expensive
4. everything is expensive unless i am being paid with USD...damn it...

oh ya...where is the no.1?

simple...i just dont want to be apart from you...i wish to be with you always...so if working here, i am going to be far away from you. freaking far...more than 24 hours flight..damn it..i just dont want to....

Busy day

2011-09-19T10:51:00.000-07:00

Today is the first day of logging lab and my first tool will be the HACRT. the resistivity tool. Most of people said this is the easiest tool and i dont deny it.

My friends used to ask me, what do you do? Are you drilling the well? or you are the one maintaining the rig and etc. Hmmm, sometimes i try to explain, and make them understand...I am actually a logging engineer.

When people heard the word *logging*, the first thing they think is, what do *kayu balak* do offshore? Yeah, logging do mean loading the trees or log onto the truck but for oil and gas, it simply mean well logging which is done during all phases of a well's development; drilling, completing, producing and abandoning. Sound technical huh??!! Seriously, i dont like how it sound too because the first time i heard this, i am confused too.

I would simply explain it with my own words, it simply mean, getting the info of the well, using wireline (for my department). Once we drill the well, we wanted to know, where is exactly the hydrocarbon located, at which depth ? Wireline logging simply mean, getting the info of the well, using tools connected with wires, into the hole. Yeah, indeed it need a very long wire(cable).

So back to what i did today. I calibrated one resistivity tool and tomorrow i will need to start my first logging with this tool.

Everyone says it is tough and i guess, it is...

Module : Explosive

2011-09-08T13:13:00.000-07:00

this week is kinda relaxing week for me as the module is not too hard but it is not easy..either..

today, i been staying at the lab to detonate the gun...that for my job requirement..

Its kinda interesting when you can actually load the gun and detonate it...at the depth required by customers..

first of all, we have to give out commands and gotta follow some procedures such as voltage checking and verification has to be made before we are ready to shoot it...

our instructor got us a dummy detonator where we can virtually *detonate* it and the feeling of getting detonated.., how can i describe it??

haha!!!

before doing this, our instructor show us some picture of explosive worker getting injured from explosion and i believe you would not wana look at it. he lost his face and yet he is still conscious, i guess...

so, basically the objective of this modules is to guide us and create awareness of handling the explosive in a correct methods, using the correct procedures...

No short cuts!!!

Once started, it cant be stopped...this is the sentences that can describe explosive or explosion...

BEWARE!!!

and the instructor said, * You would prefer the liquid come out from you is not blood and perhaps, other liquid which will give you the pleasure...* hahahahaha....if you get what i mean...

Why did I end up falling for you?

2011-09-06T10:58:00.000-07:00

Why did I end up falling for you?
No matter how much time has passed,
I hope that you would always be here
even you may chosen a different road....

Why wasn't I able to convey to you?
My feelings that were growing everyday and night
The words begin to overflow
will they able to reach you now?

From the first day that I know you
I felt like I knew you..
And the two of us melded together so naturally..

its like a dream as...

It was so natural for us...

there will be a day that holds a special meaning
The day that you stood with a smile of happiness
i will pray to God for your beauty appearance

and if the person next to you who isn't me

Could I just stand aside and watch?

and why did I end up falling for you?

am i able to take your hand?
No matter how much time passes
i wish You will always by my side
and i pray everyday for it to become true...

But, even though I say that I need you close to me
I just pray that you will be happy forever
No matter how lonely that will makes me...

Sleepy

2011-09-05T18:37:00.000-07:00

temperature decreased to 15 C today and it is very cold out there..

i am a person who so afraid of cold, even though people considered me as *fat*, but the fat in me just could not produce enough warmth for myself...

today, the class ended well with me almost fall asleep, opps...

perhaps already slept when the lectures was all about thing you know..

at 3pm, i am already back to my hotel room and i prepared a very simple dish for my lunch...which is maggi, added with meat, prawn and vege...plus hotdogs....

and i spent my time after that looking through the notes before i fall asleep again on my bed...

i woke up one hour later at 7pm when my phone vibrated next to me....feeling blurred and open my 10 tonnes eyes, there is a message from her and it is so sweet when there is someone who remember you all the time...the presence of her been inspiring me to work and strieve harder..

now, gotta prepare for the quiz tomorrow and again, need to study ...

lets keep fighting and NEVER GIVE UP!!!

Lunch time

2011-09-05T10:35:00.000-07:00

its break time for lunch and what i did is listening to the song...repeated for ...err...i dont know how many times i played it already..

the song sang as if it understand my feeling right now...

it is another week here and i am getting read for the new module, with my exam will be held this friday...

i have been thinking,

since when i became so weak and i dont recognize myself anymore...

this is definitely not me..

in my 25 years of life...

there is too much pain and maybe there are some...gain...

and this is another hurdle i need to get over now and the task is to create a magic, and make it look colorful....colorful enough to impress them and shut them up....

This is my show...!!!

ppl said,

when we are at the deepest down in the ocean,

what we can do is,

always try to swim back to the shore and breath again...

take the new fresh air, start a brand new life...

To achieve your dream,

Never ever give up...

keep fighting!!!!!!

rock n rolll...

2011-08-28T20:54:00.000-07:00

i spent 14 hours sitting on my desk doing revision for my final test for this module and i guess, i am burning my own ass. I tried to walked around in my room, changed my sitting position...from sitting on my chair to the couch, from couch to the floor and end up lying on bed with all the notes all over...

it is not easy for all of us, as there are a lot of input to be *key* in my mind and i can say, i am certainly lost in my own world when i read the notes. Imagine, that is the thing i been learning for 1 year and yet i couldn't master it. Am i dumb or what? Maybe i am..

now it is 1110pm and i am still on my desk trying to find for solution for nightmare tomorrow.

its time to rock and roll again...

La La la

2011-08-26T10:39:00.001-07:00

today,

when i look at your picture,
your smile just light up my day,
if there is sentences to describe how i feel,
i will write millions pages..

we might not know each other for more than 10 years,
but i just feel so close to you,
its like you are just standing next to me,
Looking at me and watch whatever i do...

each time i close my eyes,
i saw the different pictures of yours,
and baby,
i know i miss you...

thousand miles keep the distance between us,
makes me wish to stand right next to you,
To caress you,
To hold you tight,
and perhaps,
star gazing together...

One day during the sunset,
i will be back,
as a different person,
and be a REAL MAN as i am supposed to be...

Out of Blue

2011-08-26T10:18:00.000-07:00

One silly mistake in life will certainly lead to a major let down,
life is about the mistakes you did and how you get up from it..
the most important is how you look and interpret everything that happened..
simply trust this,

God creates problem for a reason, and the reason will be, to make us come back stronger...

there is one point of time i did want to give up on life but,
somehow,
i managed to turn everything over to be what i am now...
i am not a perfect man as i came across lots of failures...
Too much pain, yet much of gain as well...

I cant remember or recall what is it that give me the strength to stand up each time i fell down...
my deceased grandma once told me this,

* Don't ever give up as you will be always be my best grandson. You never stop impressed me *

even before her death when she can barely recognized everyone, she remembered me...
when my mom told her, your best grandson is here (with the hope she will remember),
she just said * Fook Yong, you are here*...i barely hold my tears....

she talked a lot that night with me and all my aunties cried that night. its been a while she talked to someone...for so long..

when she is gone, i realized one thing, her words do always keep tingling in my mind and triggered me to do what i can and make sure that i do not regret in future ....

Why so emo post?

2011-08-20T21:30:00.000-07:00

when i read back all my post, it really sounded very emo...haha..
i tried not to but i guess, this is the place i can voice out how i feel...

maybe i am not a person who will share happiness here since i only spoke out my *emo feel*...
haha

so, finally, i am in US...and will be here for 3 months

some people asked me, why am i here...and the answer will be..working + training...

its all about exam that i needed to pass and i dont know why, my first exam will usually let me down..

its not that i dont know...but i just screwed it up...

next monday there will be another test and i am going all out for...however i will still need some confidence as nothing works without that...

i am glad i got your support and i am glad that you spend your time with me even though you are far away...

i dont know how you feel about me but i am sure about how i feel..and i truly appreciate you...

i pray for a better day for both of us and also, to meet soon ya....

got to go and will come back here is i am *emo* again...

bluek...!!!

Up and Down

2011-06-28T18:55:00.000-07:00

Life has been up and down...and that is norm, accept and face it with whatever you have..

Guts, is what you needed to do all kinds of things, when you cant actually grasp what you wanted in life...

Confidence, is crucial when you have to make any decision, which will change everything in your life, Just Do It....

These 2 elements in life, played a big role into what i am today. i would say all of us work very hard, to come all the way to be what you wanted to do, too much pain and more importantly, how much gain, since as human being, we care too much, on what we get, after what we sacrificed in life...

Still then...Dont expect too much in life...

Busy Days

2011-04-23T03:10:00.000-07:00

Wow...thats what i could say for now...

The life is blardy challenging, guess what? I am in the middle of Jungle, I guess, since you can see elephants from your dorm and around you is all trees...

This is the 17th days i am at Duri, Indonesia, for my pre-school preparation before i am off to US for my last school before i can break out as a True Logging Engineer.

When i say True Logging Engineer means i will be earning tickets.

Earning tickets means...wahahahaha!!! try to guess...

As what people been saying, now is the toughest period for all trainee engineer (like me). We have to learn all kind of stuff, erm, almost everything. Its not that we need to know it, but we need to understand the wholey everything. Damn...

I am pretty sure i have no confidence for this job at first, but in time, slowly, i am getting the clearer picture of myself in next 5 years and i set few objectives, mission, and vision for it.

Objectives : To be a Good Logging Engineer

Mission : To Learn all i can before i break out as engineer

Vision : Never do mistakes that will put my future in doubt

I can see all my friends are doing well in life. I guess, after 10 years, we can sit on the table and share our journey together. too much joy and too much *saltiness* in life.

After 25 years, i learnt all about the meaning of life. Its not all about money, but its all about yourself, what you wanted in life and how you work for it. Besides, never forget the people around you. Your family, your partner and friends who has been supporting you all the while.

I believe, if one day...we do well in life, and there is no regrets in life....it would be your greatest, and you achieve fullest happiness as everyone wanted to.

Aikss...suddenly run out from what i wanted to share pulak...

OK..cont...

Here, in Duri, i went for jobs (means onshore activity), and even though it is different from onshore, it is very interesting and tiring. There are too much thing to do and i worked out to the limit of myself for the past 3 days. Totally exhausted and drained.

FInally

2011-03-23T19:42:00.000-07:00

Finally, left with one more exam to go.

Currently, my marks is above the passing marks but i need to work harder to achieve what my manager set for me. it is already impossible to do so now but still, i will try to get the highest point i can so that there wont be so much *offset*. hahahaha...Technical Term!!

Once my total result is out, i will post it here...just to keep the promise to someone...

**add-on = if i pass the exams only i will post it here...;-p

Hardest moment in life

2011-03-18T22:32:00.000-07:00

For the past 2 weeks, i have been struggling with my entrance exam for my job. it is not so tough but there were so much silly mistakes i did that pull myself down to the earth. sound stupid right?

anyway, i send an email to my manager and told him what happened. at the same time, i am expecting some *scolding* but eventually it do not turn out as so. however, this is not a good impression for him and for myself too.

i believe the content of my email already said what he wanted to say to me and he just reply me | *yes , please work extra harder*

the word *extra harder* have been used for so many times that i cant remember how many extra harder i told him. maybe he is fed up with it.

next week will be even tougher where the challenges is out of what you all thinking. i only can continue work hard and maybe extra extra extra..........x1000000 harder.

i am having few sleepless night and i noticed my hair starts dropping. i guess i am too stress.

in my toughest moments, luckily i still have bunch of colleagues whom have been very supportive and helpful. we have our discussion and try to help each other. really appreciate that..

how i wish if all of us can pass and survive this hurdle, because the tougher is yet to come...

Bad Omen

2011-02-09T22:14:00.000-08:00

woke up in the morning, and its already 730am.....its like, oh shit!! i am gonna be late to work.

running to the toilet, i grab my toothbrush. put on toothpaste and make a quick *brushing*....

once done, i went into the shower room and start cleaning myself...accidentally, i drop my facial cream. then i bend down to pick it up, and thats the time i hit my face at the water tap...

WTH....

seriously, i am really awake now, the pain at my face is like...only God Know...

Ouch ouch ouch....

while rubbing my face..i continue to bath and proceed to see my face at the mirror...

oh....i saw a small, cute circle popping out......oh man...my face is not balance anymore.

one side is bigger than the other side...

i wanted to laugh out but, the pain grew stronger when my face muscle moves...

its almost 8am now...

went down to lobby and i missed my pick up to office..

never mind, take taxi lor...

and the taxi drivers is very smart, they knew i am in hurry,and wanted to charge extra...

of cos, i will say NO...

in the end, i walked to my office. around 30 minutes walk. since its late, let it be...

once i reached my office, i am sweating like i just came out from bath...

here,

the lesson learnt is, sleep early nextime, and remember to check if you set the alarm to wake you up...

1st Love

2011-02-07T06:35:00.001-08:00

if ppl asked you, who is your first love, who is the person who straight came to your mind?

i guess, only you know yourself yeah....hahaha

if people asked me, there is one girl who will popped up in my mind (actually popping now d)

usually people do not tell our their love story, so, dont expect me to tell here too because i wont do it..hahaha!!!

maybe i shud ask, how much do you trust, that TRUE LOVE do really exist?

Angpao

2011-02-07T06:26:00.000-08:00

Happy CNY!!!

Huat ar!!!

Gong Xi Fa Cai!!

This is what the chinese will greet each other during the big day.

The elder will be happier if you say huat zai ( grow wealth)

The young ones will be happier if the ang pao they got have much $$$ inside.

However, do you all knows what do CNY mean to us?

Lets try to think this way, during CNY, what you all do? Your relatives will come from far/near to visit you and you will do the same things. Some, you dont meet them in years...

For myself, CNY is a day where we are able to meet all our relatives, and make sure, we do not lose contact to each others. besides that, it also show the mutual respect among each other...

We also visit our friends, whom we are not able to meet always...

CNY is actually a day for us to get close to each other...

a day for you to get close among the family members...

and a day for you to remind yourself,

YOU ARE PART OF EVERYTHING IN THIS WORLD...

Happy CNY anyone...HUAT AR!!!!!!

Start working Today

2011-02-07T06:19:00.000-08:00

After working for more than 1 month non-stop, finally i got holidays for 1 week... today, i needed to start working again.

today in the office, i did not do much. spending whole day having a lot in my mind where everything is out of my control. looking back at what had happened, i realized how small myself is in this world. people say i am very emo, posting negative comments in facebook and so on...but, i have nowhere to go to, or anyone i can talk to.

too much things had happened, and it is hard for myself, and even others to digest it in just one or two weeks. kinda complicated.

Love/relationship have been disastrous for me, careers had not been so smooth for me and life is getting tougher. New year just passed and i hope i can start everything brand new.

Songkhla

2011-01-01T23:30:00.000-08:00

Its been 2 weeks here in Songkhla. Gossh!!! I am totally not enjoying most of my time here...

working from monday to sunday for 2 weeks and i still got 2 weeks to ago...gosh!!!!

is there any escape route for me?

Preparation

2010-12-14T05:12:00.000-08:00

Today, its an excitement for me when i was given a room to stay in Prince Hotel.

Its a 5 star hotel !!!

so eager to go over...

However, my colleagues told me, this is just temporary excitement as when i used to stay in hotels, i will be boring...haha..i doubt that...

anyway, waiting for next week...off to Songkhla soon!!!

Platform on fire???

2010-12-14T00:40:00.001-08:00

Read the newspaper today?

Platform on fire?

WOW!!!

dangerous huh...

thinking of the days in future where i will be working on those platforms, its kinda shiver me.

However, its God who decided when we will die..

we duno what will happen in future, so, who cares...

LETS ENJOY THE LIFE FOR THE MOMENT....CHEERS...^_^

Back to life

2010-11-14T04:22:00.000-08:00

I cant remember when is the last post, i posted for the last time. (actually can check de lar, lazy lor)

At this moment, suddenly i got the feeling to blog. Fingers so itchy to touch and push the buttons of the keyboard. Tap!Tap!Tap!Tap!Tap!Tap!Tap!.....haha...siao liao...

currently, i am not in the good mood and i dont really wanna say it out here. It can be issue on jobs, family or with the love ones. Add one more, financial perhaps. Haha...siao liao lar...

Finally, i am officially graduated as an engineer last month, on the 17th of October 2010. there is no doubt that this is a historical date in my life. Go buy toto, magnum or etc for the number 1710. Might strike first prize...cheww!!!lame lar... but what i actually wana say is, the 4 years of studies, is complete and done. No more studying after this. No more assignments, quizzes, exams or all those marks to determine you in 1st class, 2nd or No Class!!!

Today, i am waiting for my new job. I just quit my current job. on 1st of December, i will officially joining the best industry in the world. The industry that become the dream for all engineers, which is oil and gas industry. I am glad i made it through. Here, let me at first thank my parents, my siblings, my love one(baby, you know who you are), and all my beloved friends. Thank you so much.

Looking back into my life of 24 years, there are up and down that i been through. Sometimes, we feel like giving up, and some made us wanted to make it through. Today, i would like to say, i am so proud of myself for being what i have become.

haha....i am sorry for saying all those stuff. I am just too happy. i dont know how to express my own self. siao liao lar...

Would you be my angel?

2010-08-05T08:23:00.000-07:00

I knew you are hurting,

and i am hurting more when i see the way you are...

But do you know,

you are my angel...

your smile melted my heart,

and your voice,

erase my anger...

every time i looked at you,

is the time my heart pounding so fast,

and i wanted to say I love you to you....

wish one day,

i have the courage to say to you,

Holding your hand and say..... would you be my angel...

Dedicated to you!!! my angel...

Life is repeated one, a rountine!!

2010-08-05T08:17:00.000-07:00

early morning, i woke up at 6.30am. I brush my teeth and bath. then i wear the legendary blue shirt, my uniform and go to work. i have to go through a terrific traffic jam and to reach my company in 1/2 hour.

everyday i am doing the same thing. during work, i prepare my camera, walkie talkie, and my helmet. then i go for assembly, sing the corporate song and have discussion with my team

once finished, i will look at my KPI.

which job is to be done first?

which is the most critical one??

SO, this repeated routine bores me...WTH!!!

REFRESH ME!!

Maybe last one??

2010-06-27T07:24:00.000-07:00

today..i have to make a tough decision. however, i do not have the courage to do it....

try to think, if you come to a situation where u wanted to turn back time so badly, as you cant face the future.

i made the decision today, is not because i am coward. i just dont have any idea how to walk into a path i set before what had happened today. i realized my life has nothing. totally nothing. seriously i am fed up with my life. i had no freedom in what ever i do and no one really understand me.

the only thing i can say is, thank you to all that had once colour my life. i really appreciate that and i am glad that i met u all.

goodbye everyone..

Decision

2010-06-24T08:17:00.000-07:00

Today i went for an interview that lasted for 3 hours. Whoosh!!!! i was *shoot* with a lot of questions, where they think, will able to see what kind of person i am, and what sort of mindset i possessed.

So, is it the way i answered them will determined where i stand?

i dont know. maybe they knew better and i am really boring with all the repeated questions.

Looking back, the 4 years of Degree passed by so fast. i still remember the first day i went to my university.

i am so excited and looking forward into it.

then i get to know a lot of great friends who shared my pain and happiness together with me. i miss the moment. i really hope the 4 years can be repeated again. i really learnt a lot in these 4 years. i can say everyone moved on from one level to another higher level. today of me, is totally different from me of 4 years ago, physically(haha!!) or mentally.

now, the history has become a memories that will be kept in the heart forever.

no matter what, we cant turn back time. currently i am looking for a job.

however, i am lost in a way that, i dont know, which path should i take.

Interest?

Money?

Present Life?

Future Life?

Everything will not be the same when i make a decision. before, i thought it was a choice which is easy to make but now, it is totally different from what i expected. i have to consider all the people around me. the decision i make, will change everything.

so, this is the time for me to be selfish and plan for my own future?

DeAd

2010-06-05T04:35:00.000-07:00

Just one more time turn back to me, I can't move on with you like this and you know it too, that it was all a misunderstanding.
these words sound really unreal, as if I can't make any sense of your expression. how i wonder everything's all right if it can be like this.....

Forced your sparkling eyes to turn away from my charred black heart.here I'm screaming in distraught, don't abandon me. I can't turn back like this, I absolutely cannot move on like this as you've left the last of me here to die.

It had all gone so wrong, nothing went like it should and do u know that you've become so coldhearted, I can't watch you anymore, I can't even stand it anymore. this craziness must end...

your heart has been left now as a frozen heart
my chest has been torn up now I've a broken heart

we're abandoning this, never to see each other forever now.

my damned heart cannot help it. living without you is no better than being dead....still every night, I dream of holding you...

Intoxication

2010-06-02T03:00:00.000-07:00

I make you shiver a little
By overlapping our skin, it’s foreplay
What my fingertips have found is

deep inside deep inside deep inside crazy

Touch you baby Again and again

I’ll squeeze you baby
Let me feel your madness
Stroke your light, girl
I’ll go crazy oh~

Tell me what you want
Let me, do you want me?
You say baby now
I know that you want me oh no

I want to make you say it baby now

Kiss and touch me
Taste and touch me baby

Eat you apart make love

I can touch me
Killing touch me baby

That is intoxication
We start with our fingers, then even our bodies tangle
I keep looking for the secret syrup

Below the soft moonlight that’s not turned off
I’m about to come because of your wavering voice

beautiful

Tell me what you want
Tell me, do you want me
You say, baby now
I know that you want me

It’s about to overflow baby now
Kiss and touch me
Taste and touch me baby

Like I want to make love
I can touch me
Killing touch me baby

That is intoxication
Kiss and touch me
Taste and touch me baby
Don’t tease me making love

I can touch me
Killing touch me baby
You fall in intoxication

Using a way of communicating without words
You’re making me go crazy
More, more until I get swallowed completely

Tell me what you want
Tell me, do you want me
Just say, baby now
I know that you want me

I want to make you say it baby now

Tell me what you want
Tell me do you want—

Xiah Jun Su

I am done!!

2010-05-30T00:36:00.000-07:00

Finally, i am all done with Final Examinations.

So, throw all the textbooks, questionnaires, and whatever related to it.

seriously, i wanted to shout,

"i am FREE!!!!!!!!!!!!!",

but i just couldnt do so.

the reason why??

simple easy,

FYP is not done yet.

darn it!!!

again, i wana say F**K!!!

screw my luck for the reason i having this topic where all my weakness are shown.

i just could'nt help it.

still have one more week.

so, am i able to finish it???

being optimistic or pessimistic,

i will have to choose.

You

2010-05-30T00:32:00.000-07:00

if you've figured out something
From what that you keep thinking.
I wonder what will you do?
But if you decided it
and you are happy with it
i will be glad for you and,
It would last forever just like that.

You becoming my most important person in the world.
if not, Forever and ever
as i want to look at you smiling by my side.

It’s a lie that I wanted to help you out
I just wanted to kiss you
Embracing you from behind
Asking you, “How’s ya feel?”

If the world was to end tomorrow
I still want to smile like this.
To the you who keep stand by my side
I am going to kiss you
And tell you, “I love you”
And you’ll just simply nod your head.
Just like today(in my dream).

You and you only
Can make me strong and weak.
I will love you and love you more
Afraid to think what if you don’t love me.
Even if it’s painful, I still want to protect you.

Our encounter is such a bless
Just the two of us together like that.

dedicated to You

If I were that person

2010-05-30T00:23:00.000-07:00

Felt Your small, cold hands and trembling lips..
Able to carry on as if nothing has happened...

Are you afraid of remembering someone?
Struggling to take on the words *bubbling* up to your lips...

the back of you resembles falling white snow,
Melting bit by bit...

Just like the star that doesn’t leave the dark night sky
I hope can carry this dream forever together with love and trust with you,
If I were that person,
I will definitely hug you tightly in my arms forever...

Against the reality,
Even the coldest of hearts,
End up flowing with tears...

The fuzzy stream of light,
Shines brightly in the darkness,
Passing through that time....

If Able to feel each other heat,

when we stand side by side,
with the heart that sudden stop beating,

You just took my breath away...

Everyone has scars and heavy...*sighs*
I’m trying to find that space in time when I can pull you into my arms

I can’t believe how just whispering of you make me so nervous,
and shakes, breaks me every-time you do..

Alone??...by the end of time,
but, Never be afraid because you were left alone,
Till the end of time I’ll let you know my love,
I’ll protect you, you know,
Because I love you,

I’ll let you know,my love...

Just like the star that doesn’t leave the dark sky,
still, i hope we carry this dream forever together with love and trust,
If I were that person,
I will surely hug your tightly in my arms forever...

Dedicated to You...

2 days to Freedom

2010-05-26T12:37:00.000-07:00

As usual, a journey that started, will come to the end. when i was 7 years old, i was placed in a place called school. here, i get to know many friends that same age with me, or older. as the time goes by, i see the changes around me. the schools i been to, the teachers who had aged and some *gone* to a place called heaven. and today, is the 2nd last day, to the end of my journey as a student.

i kept on looking back on what i have done for the past 17 years as a students. the things i did wrong and corrected by people around me, and the things that made myself proud which i can see in the red file placed on my cupboard, the certificates. (hahaha)

so.....how the 17 years had shaped me into a person i am now?

am i ready for the new world ahead me?

YESSs, i am very eager to face the new world, but i believe the challenges ahead of me wouldn't be the same like i faced in my 24 years of life before. it will be a lot harder and more complicated.

so do i really ready for all this???

i guess, i have to try it before i can justify it myself.

deeply in me, i am feeling very bad, sad and kinda *sobbing* to leave the university. i believe, the 4 years in UTP is the best moment in my life. i am able to meet all the friends from all over Malaysia and even the world. i get to mix around with variety of people.

i will definitely miss all my friends here.

at this moment, i am counting the moment to the *freedom*.

i guess is freedom because no more Final Exam!!

haha... still have around 2 weeks left here in UTP.

i wish all my friends all the best in future and in case we meet by coincidence anywhere, please do greet each other and remember....

how we ever first meet as friend.

see ya!!!

Beautiful You

2010-05-25T07:36:00.000-07:00

I wish I could fall asleep to the caress of your voice
Even on the nights we can't meet, it's like you're embracing me

I know it's you even with my eyes closed
Your tender warmth... I can sense it

You're such a beautiful woman
I want you right now... A world with you in it is a beautiful dream
You're such a beautiful woman
I can't help but love everything about you... I'm drowning in the depths of your sweetness
You're such a beautiful you, yeah

You remove your small earrings and your ring too
You're so graceful, even in your strength to believe in tomorrow

It's maddening, how you tempt me
Aren't you even aware of your own secrets?

You're such a beautiful woman
How should I kiss you? Tell only me... a beautiful world
You're such a beautiful woman
It seems this can't be stopped, my baby... come to my side, feel me
'Cause you're so beautiful

Only you possess the meaning of love
And I don't want to let anyone else touch you

You're such a beautiful woman
I want you right now... a world with you in it is a beautiful dream
You're such a beautiful woman
I can't help but love everything about you... I'm drowning in the depths of your sweetness
Yeah!!!
You are beautiful
Baby you're special one
You're such a beautiful dream
You are beautiful
Baby you're special one
You're such a beautiful dream

by TVXQ

Letter from a GF to her useless BF

2010-05-24T06:06:00.000-07:00

*****? is sum1 precious in *****'s heart... n ***** reli misses him when he never talk 2 her since ** march...

tat day... he fall sick n unable to contact v her... when she called him at nite... she felt tat she is disturbing him... bt after hearing his cheerful voice... she felt glad... he is ok...

she went to **** n told him tat she was thr... hoping to pass him sumthing... he nv replies... maybe he was too bz... or his hp is still nt fixed yet...

after a few days... she nv hear from him... many questions raised in her mind... is he ok...? bz? she doesnt know... he asked her nt 2 call him... n she listens 2 him...

wheneva she on9... she reli hopes 2 c him... n tell him wat happened... n she hopes 2 read wat the ***** had experienced everyday... she enjoys reading his story... bt... everytime he on9... she felt tat he is away... or perhaps bz...?

she misses him... lol... her tears fall whenever she misses him...

***** is trying nt 2 think bout *****... lol... missing sum1 is reli suffering...

***** doesnt know wat 2 do... she has no 1 2 talk 2... she is reli lost now... how...

Seriously, when i read back this, i can see how awful and sorrow the girl felt. the guy was such an ignorance. clearly, the girl was showing her love and care here.

how can the guy being so blind?? and i think he is a bastard..

if i have the chance...i would like to kick the guy 3 times,

1st kick, Please wake up,

2nd kick,Tell her u love her,

3rd kick, Please treat her better and appreciate her.

i hope that guy regret with his attitude towards her , start to appreciate her, and Love her more...

Sometimes, we tend to appreciate more when we lose someone so precious, but when we do, it is always too late

One day b3for3 3xam.

2010-05-24T00:18:00.000-07:00

Tomorrow will be my second last paper for my final, final examination. Industrial Automation & Control System. Very technical hurgh? sort of....

it is a very interesting subject where you can learn DCS(Distributed Control System). Imagine how the LRT move without driveR?

it is DCS!!!

and alot daily appliance are using DCS as well.

the weather today is damn hot. feel like being *cooked* inside my very own room. so, i try to chill out and blog...going to room from room, disturbing others. seems that not a big number of victim today.

the song by DBSK- Beautiful You and Bolero, kept on being played in my PC. Played both songs for more than 10 times today. hahaha!!too bad they gonna split(i guess so). but the songs Kinda *jiwang* and it is very nice, for me.

i gotta rush my pace of revision. got less than one day to prepare and there are 3 more parts haven cover yet...

you are such a beautiful women, beautiful you...la la la la (from DBSK- Beautiful You)

wohooo~

Final Exam

2010-05-20T06:51:00.000-07:00

oh, its been ages i didn't blog. (haha...merely one month only)

this is the last Final Exam for all Final Year student for the intake of July 05/July06. frankly speaking, i do enjoy studying but i dislike exam. usually when the exam is near, i will start doing nonsense such as playing computer games, Facebook-ing, and etc.

gosh!!!

please block me from using my PC.

i believe student from my batch are eager get over this Final Exam. everyone is so excited to go into the new world.

The Working Life!!!

My status now, is still jobless even though been to numerous of interviews. So, why did i get rejected?

Reason :

1. being a Petronas Scholar

2. My availability

3. Companies want me to confirm within one week

i believe this is just an excuse for them. why did they asked me to come for an interview when i already stated all this info in my resume? i believe all HR department in all companies should really look into all application throughly rather than simply ask to go for an interview. (kinda my wasting time and energy)

so, we back to Final Exam. just finished my EIS exam. Engineer in Society. kinda boring subject where we study rules and regulation. Electricity Act bla bla bla bla.....forget bout dat...

now i am left with 3 more papers...Operation Management, IACS and PE II. and for all juniors who wana buy text book, do PM me. i am selling for great price..

wakakaka!!!

oh...cant wait for the exam to finish....but wait, still have my Final Year Project Presentation. aduii.....seriously worry because of my Internal examiner. He is famous for this strictness. My external Examiner is the Engineer from the place i did my internship. i am glad, since we knew each other, maybe he can offer me *markah kesian*.

wahaha...

still got hope on this. the sad news is my prototype is still not working. half way work i can say. after final, i have less than 5 days to do it.....

God, do bless me!!!

Buddies in UTP

2010-04-12T11:37:00.000-07:00

its been almost 4 years, here i am, in UTP, my second home or alma mater. it is less than 10 weeks to go, before we wrap up everything and get our degree.

YES!!!!!!!

indeed it is a good news and many will be happy for the big day, the Convocation, but deep inside, we knew, after convocation, all of us will start our journey again, maybe in different path which mean, we will go our separated ways.

at that time, we might try to look back into the moment in UTP, the joy that we shared together not forget the *suffering* we have for years (Projects, assignments, presentation, and etc).

i bet, all of us will really miss these moments.

for almost 4 years, i been very close to all my friends here(i guess so). i wouldn't call them as my buddies, in fact if i may, i would like to call them my brothers(sound no difference but actually it does). my life will never be as much as interesting if not because of them. they are the one who will stay with you when your are low , and share the joy together. sometimes, we did have some *controversy* going on but as the time goes by, the feeling of anger depleted automatically.

therefore, i would like to describe some the brothers that had be with me for years :

RK : my roomate for almost 4 years. he is the angel for everyone. a good boy who stay in batu gajah(20 minutes from UTP). he went home every weekend and all of us are envy of him. he is a polite guy who will never say the word *NO* to you if you asked him anything. sometimes, he do pissed off with something but there is a bro, called acap will come and cheer him up

ACAP : the smart or genius among us. scored high marks in every exam but from his looks, you can see him as a very friendly guy. he is the one who cheers us up when we are down. he is the king of jokes and he do resembles Stephen Chow

Zaid : the unexpected guy. whatever is do is unexpected. you will never expect his attitude and i dont know how to describe this. beside, his hobby is *buat perangai*. we even have a fan page of him in facebook because of his behaviour. ever since, he became a good boy until now. at least half better than before.

Firdaus : the budak manja among us. he is a kind hearted yet sensitive guy. easy to befriend and easy to get hurt. he is the guy i wana take my revenge. why?? its *secret affair* and i am gonna end this soon. he is smart and very hardworking guy.

Wan : the energetic guy. he is the captain of our football team, El-Nino. he is fast and skillful. his girlfriend is Nana and his brother in law is Ja ar. (cabelling is very important in life)

Bobo : the guy with nice motor before it get stolen in our 2nd year(rite?). until now, he begged for anyone who took his motorcycle to return it. he stutters when he talks and many new words created by him

Kewek : salji putih or the *korean* among us. he is thin, and his hobby is come to your room and switch off your fan and light. he had stomache during the first match of football tournament. he loves naruto much and he has a beautiful girlfriend.

Faqih : the small boy among us. born in the year of 1988. during my internship, i slept beside him together with kewek and areen. so gay??!!!

areen : he is a nice guy to be friend with but, he loves to *shoot* you with words that is annoying. sometimes, you feel like *screw* him but anyway, its his joke..so, why do we care??haha...no offend ya...

there are many more...i will continue in next post i guess....but please bear with me. my uni has less chinese so, you didnt see any chinese in this list but the concept of 1Malaysia is there. next post will reveal more of them.

being friends is not about race and belief so why do we care so much?

H1N1 Attack...

2010-04-06T21:24:00.000-07:00

it was a beautiful day when i woke up in the morning. sitting in front of my desk...facing the computer and online, facebook-ing.

thinking how my final year project going was too headache for me.

what the heck??!!

next week is my seminar and i haven come up with anything. i was trying to rush thing up a bit but it seems the God kept on playing with me.

i was in shock when i got a call from mum telling me my youngest sis admitted to the ICU.

OMG!!!!!

..what had caused that?

at first the doctor couldnt confirm(another flaw of General Hospital, you know what i mean...).

my younger sis was admitted in ICU for 4 days before she was confirmed H1N1 positive. before there were ven speculation it was just denggi. there is thing i wana highlight here...

why taken so long to confirm?

what if it is too late?

every 4 hours her blood was taken for test. and is it really necessary??

(people said , the doctor is doing his job)

is there really need to take the blood for so many times?

**my younger sis is already very weak as she is having fever, fluctuating up and down.

and her blood kept on taken for so many times.

today, the doctor said, everything is ok but the platelet is very in low count. for normal person the count should be at 150 000 and my sis just has 29 000...i dont know whats the unit for the count but thats the number told by the doctor to my parents.

since my youngest sis was tested h1n1 positive, thus all my family members will have to test themselves out in the hospital too since there have been contact between them and my youngest sister thus i guess there might be infection too in them.

PRECAUTION MA...

thank God, my mum, elder sis and another younger sis is ok,

but my dad is merely positive. (suspected h1n1 positive)

however, he need to take care of a lot of things , he had to wait for his own treatment and he need to take care a lot of things.

that the POWER Of LOVE from Dad.

if he were to admit to hospital, who is going to take care of my youngest sis in hospital?

without a guy in the house, no one can lead them and tell them what to do.

(dont argue with me that girls can do what guys can do too, no matter what, God created Men and Women with alot differences)

seriously my mum cant take it alone if my dad were to be quarantine. she wont know what to do. who to consult if there is a problem?

and my elder sis too...might lost in her own ways.

i couldnt go bak home for prevention

(its not about my selfishness, but if you were me, will you go back?)

and my younger bro is not in Malaysia.

i just hope all is well and everyone can get well soon...i just feel helpless as there is nothing i can do...

looking and do nothing, is kinda hurtful to yourself....such hopeless feeling....

Iguana In the house!!!

2010-03-19T11:11:00.000-07:00

When my friend told me they caught an Iguana, i just could not believe it myself until i saw it with my own eyes. it is huge and not friendly at all(kinda fierce, since its from wild, what ya expect??).

however, i couldnt figure out whether it's a she or he( duno how to see) .

when i go near it, it shoved its tail trying to *kill* me.

WOW!!!

AWESOME!!!!

thats the first time i was being attacked by an IGUANA indirectly.

(luckily, i was protected because it was inside the cage)

so, there is question, where the iguana came from?

my Uni (UTP) was surrounded by forest, lakes ( ex-old mines) and this conclude my Uni was located far away from town. so, its not a surprise to see wild boars running around behind our IRC(Information Resource Center aka Library) or monkeys playing in groups beside the road. but the Iguana is not from there...
however, to catch an Iguana, i bet is not easy thing to do.

i was told that my friend saw it crawling at our apartment and caught it with box. he was generous enough to purchase a home (big cage) for it. (cost him around Rm40++)

Iguana with new home

its huge right?? i mean the Iguane not cage...

now, the iguana has been a hot stuff for us. it was officially announced as our batch Football Team, El-Nino's Mascot. indirectly, this Iguana was named Nino.

the cage was covered with our Team Flag, El-Nino!!!

so, if you interested to purchase the Iguana, please contact 05-123456789, because it is not for sale. we are planning to release it to the wild when the time come. for now, we are taking good care of this reptiles, our beloved Mascot, and also

our inspiracy to success.

wake up!!!!

2010-03-02T04:17:00.001-08:00

Below article published in Sin Chew Jit Poh 2/12/2009 column

The moment when dream is awakened...
I wonder you feel the same as me, all the sudden I realized friends
and relatives around me seems to get less and less.

Those years when the New Year drew near, all sorts of gathering
appointments almost completely filled the diaries, but this year seems so quiet.

Even in normal time, phone calls become less and less, face to face
meet up also become much less.
Perhaps, everybody is busy with their own tihings, or perhaps,
nowadays people prefer to stay in.
However, it is not entirely like this, thinking further, actually old
friends and relatives are not around any more. God bless, they are still alive

and well, they just left the country, Malaysia.
They have gone to China to set factory; Ah Wang quit his engineer job
and migrated to Australia to set up his little food store business, Ah
Fong left the local University went to Hong Kong as a lecturer. 'Frog'
went to Taiwan to pursue his second career life. Others went to
America, England, even Indonesia...

Around me realized the same, these are not individual cases but a
general symptoms of our society. they are not small numbers but the
pretty big indeed.

Department of Foreign Affairs released the figures earlier, it
confirmed the situation is real.

From March 2008 thru September 2009, a total of 300,000 Malaysian
migrated to other countries, among them 200,000 left between Jan - Aug
2009. (in 8 months)

Cumulatively, there are 2 million Malaysian migrated, this figure is
close to the number of Indonesian workers in Malaysia today.

The difference are, those migrated are mostly professional and middle class people.

They have many reasons to leave: pursue career development, for the
future of their children, in search of better life and environment...
In one sentence, they lost hope of Malaysia.

50 years ago people said: Malaysia is very good, better than Hong Kong
and even Japan.

30 years ago people said: Malaysia is not bad, comparable to S. Korea
and Taiwan. (No mention of Hong Kong and Japan any more).

20 years ago people said: Malaysia can do la, at least better than
China and Thailand (Cannot compare with Taiwan and Korea lah)

10 years ago people said: No matter how bad Malaysia is, cannot be
worse than Vietnam and Indonesia ko-ah. (China is already in a
different category).

Today, the economic growth rate of Vietnam and Indonesia already far
exceeded Malaysia, Social activity and intellectual development of the
country is also better, the gap between us and them is closing up.

Why worry? there are still Philippines, Cambodia and Myanmar behind us.

However, according to an economist who recently surveyed Philippines,
he think in 20 years' time,

Malaysia can replace Philippines to become
the World exporter of Malaysian maids.

Over half the century, Malaysians live in the big old imperial housing
complex, closed up and survive on properties left behind by the
ancestor; continue to consume up social resources, wasteful, and drive
away talents; they never talk about competitiveness, totally neglect
productivity, and hate meritocracy.

When Asia economic storm hit in 1997, Malaysia closed their doors, thinking we beautifully avoided a disaster, there even think of themselves as genius, being able to handle the situation so well.

However, just look at other countries in our neighborhood, they stand up, face the storm, and walk out of the storm.

They overhaul the system, improve the processes and march forward, they moved up to a

new level.

And Malaysia, still walking on the spot.

Dear Malaysia, it's time to wake up! We are very very late now!

Happy Family

2010-02-21T19:18:00.000-08:00

Its been years we have the time being together. i dont remember the last time we went for a vacation. this year, we are able to manage our time, to go Genting with every member of family.

usually, we will lack of at least one member, me myself, grounded in my *uni* because of too *hectic* life, or my bro, being at oversea. daddy and mummy been arranging this for long.

even though, there is some problem during our journey, we are able to overcome it.

below is some memories from that vacation...

my beloved sis posing in the theme park. haissh...i feel bored in that theme park, suitable for young ones. maybe i am getting older and i do not get the thrill entering it. for the sake of my sis, i accompany them to play all games there..

Look at the picha, the one who show her tongue is my youngest sis le, Florence, and the one with spect, is Stella, most people say she looked like me...ehemm!!

same pose again!!

4 siblings, and seems i am shorter than my younger bro....

Lastly, Happy Family Picha!!!after years, we took this picha...Unforgettable Memory.

Where and when will be our next outing ???

2010-02-21T07:28:00.000-08:00

I’m really, very foolish, just a fool for you..
I know of no one other than you
you’re looking at someone else
yet you have no idea of my feelings like this.....

I won’t be in your days
I won’t be in the memories either, however
only you, I looked only at you

As i watch you walking past, I’m still happy
even yet you still don’t know my heart
I should stop this and go

I really want to see the day
I’m withstanding the pain each day
“I love you” is playing on my lips
Alone once again, crying for you
alone once again, missing for you
Baby, I love you, I’m waiting for you

I won’t be in your days
I won’t be remembered either, however
only you, I looked only at you
I’m making memories alone

Loving you is like having a beautiful wound
I look at your pretty smile also
but I cannot laugh with you

I’m thinking about you so much everyday
my heart is hurting in all these sad days
‘I want to see you’ is playing on my lips
alone once again, crying for you
alone once again, missing for you
Baby, i’m waiting for you, I love you

bye bye, never say goodbye
even though I cannot hold you like this
I need you, I cannot say anything more, I want you
I keep on hoping too, I’ll keep hoping….

would it better this way?

2010-02-19T04:48:00.000-08:00

1. You go on with your life and so do i.

2. dont mess up with me

3. Dont call or message me

4. Just fuck off

5. Dont think of meeting up again

6. Do what you want and is none of my business

7. dont have to say anyting anymore, just a little too late

8. i will stop here and end all this

9. the end

farker!!!

2010-02-18T04:39:00.000-08:00

some people around me, being a friend in the face, but is actually a farking actor/actress.

Backstab is what we usually heard in Dota Game. if these scenario happen in real life, what would ever happen??

yes, it is your freedom to speak but to speak evil behind a person (especially me), you are just acting like a coward, a useless coward one. why dont come face on with me? so, you think what you did is something to proud of? targetting one's weakness and hiperbola about it? come on la farker, show me you have the balls, guts or so whateva, prove me what you say is correct.

show me what you got!!

you are just a loser who crawled behind me sniffing my ass!!

Yes...you did successfully provoke me to write here. talking about you, wasting my energy, and pissed me off. is that what you want? haha...so childish. what you gain from this? self satisfaction which is the ultimate happiness in this world? come on la...you are just being psycho. go on and enjoy it..go on...i still will live my life happily after what you done.

but, you will suffer more than i do. whatever you say about me to others, time will shows, whether it is true or wrong, and i can tell you...you had failed. failed till you lose everything. your soul, mentally and even your undergarments farker!!!

if i am bad then you sucked!! LOSER!!if i am bastard, you are more than a bastard, a jerk... no one will appreciate you for what you did...you wont ever hear this,

"oh, good job, very good la you say that...good good good"

and get a certificate for doing all this...haha....just go and eat shit!!

better dont show me your dick face in front of me...

No CNY

2010-02-14T05:09:00.000-08:00

on 13th Feb 2010, it was a big day for all Chinese where all family members will gather, and have a dinner together. some people say, we can always have a meal together everyday if we wanted to but for some family members who work or study abroad, it will be impossible to do so. thus, yesterday which is known as *Tuan Yuan Fan* is a very meaningful day for all Chinese.

For my family, yesterday indeed was a very special + shocking + sad day.

Since morning, i was very busy helping mum preparing the foods for prayers. Yes, we as Taoisms offers food and fruits to the deities and also our ancestors for this day before we have the food. i woke up at 7am, cooked and finished only after 1pm with my mum. then i went to meet someone special(day after is Valentine mar...hehe) and luckily enough we enjoyed our time together as i have a Tuan Yuan Fan with her family and i would say, it was very fortunate for me to go there, and able to spend some time with her.

in the evening, i had my dinner(Tuan Yuan Fan) with my family. we chit chatted for more than one hours after having the meals. the atmosphere was very good with wine drinking. i would say if wouldnt been Tuan Yuan Fan, we might not have the chance to gather together.

then we got a shocking call from my auntie saying that my grandpa(mother's side) having difficulties in breathing thus, we rushed to SJMC where he was sent for Emergency. upon reached there, i saw the doc came out from E room said that,
'No Respond'
its too late to do anything as his brain was dead for more than 8 minutes. then, the mourning began. all my aunties(mum's sisters total 7 include my mum) cried and begging for the doctor to do something. he just said sorry and all of us knew that he had left us.

today is first day of CNY, while others enjoy and welcoming the New Year, we are surrounded by warm and sad feelings. My grandpa left us after my grandma left for 1 year. i hadn't been close to my grandparents of my dad's side. instead, i am more closer to my ah ma and ah kong from my mum's side. i used to take them as my best grandparents. since i was young, my grandma used to very love us the grandchild and did gave me a lot of invaluable advice. i still remember all her words and today, it was my grandpa *departure* from this world. stand beside the corner, we only can watched and see he go.

according to our believes, we cant visit my friends house due to respect and since there is prayers at 9th day after CNY for others. therefore, for this year, we cant celebrate CNY.

to you, i am sorry for not able to spend the first day of CNY together and Valentine day. as you said, in future there will be many many valentine days for us. i hope, next year, i will be able to give you a memorable Valentine Day.

before i end here, i would like to wish all my friends

Happy Chinese New Year, have a prosperous year and stay healthy always...

Today's hurdle

2010-02-02T18:07:00.000-08:00

so, its time for the *big* war to come and all the *troops* marching into the do or die field. we might do not know what the *enemy* will ambush us but we are asked to try our best as this is all about our future.

i do not see a bright path ahead of us, but a dark and slippery path just few steps ahead. we have to walk cautiously to reduce amount of risk taken.

my *war* will start at 1pm until 3pm while other is 4pm till 6pm. i wish all the best to everyone. this *war* is all about our ability and we will be tested in *that* manner.

what can i say?

2009-12-17T01:33:00.000-08:00

today 3pm, i went for to meet my supervisor, and recently appointed co-supervisor.
PIC24FJ128GA010
is the new chip i am gonna use for my FYP.

it was a major change. 'migrated' from 80 pins to 100pins microcontroller, means all the interfaces will be different.
i guess i cant help it, it was my own fault for making careless mistakes.
how should i explain it?
aiya...forget it!!!

' put in more effort',
they kept saying.
think about it, if i didnt put in effort, i wont stay back in uni for this project.
while others busy enjoying their holiday and i am in my uni working on this.
its kinda unfair to say this.

now, change of chip for my PCB mean i have to start from zero again. now, i have to 're-plan' my project.
research, re-design the interfaces for my PIC24FJ128GA010,
what a headache!!!

they said, ' this is very easy man, dont make it difficult for yoursel f'.

and in my heart was saying 'of cos it is easy for you, but for me, it is a headache'

sounds easy, but when you do it...aihhsss!!!!.

now, it is raining as if God understand how i feel. sob sob sob...
have to start from zero again...
but

fook yong...hwaiting!!!

i wont give up!!!NEVER!!!

Just feeling glad

2009-12-15T20:50:00.000-08:00

i am glad, as everything end up fine. thank God. i realized i just cant stand the moment being apart from her. i missed her badly and wanted to be with her, by her side so much. i wonder ... if i manage to live without her.

so now, i have to focused on my project. its kinda sad to say, my mistakes lead me to start all over again. no one to be blame but myself. now i am seeking new alternative for my project. tomorrow will get a meeting with my supervisor and new co-supervisor. hope till will help me.

its not an easy thing to do. i spend all my time studying new thing without guidance. luckily enough, now, i have guidance from my supervisors. thanks to them, now i feel more confident...

so..gotta work....fook yong, hwaiting!!!

she said..

2009-12-08T06:53:00.000-08:00

all the while, its been just one sided. i talk to myself, i judged everything myself and i thought i understand her well. i even decide everything myself. ego we said. a man with high ego will lead to his own downfall.is it what i did is right? when i choose to stay in my uni for my FYP? even she said its ok at first and now, i felted the cold war is gonna happen. i always thought she will be ok as i believe i understand her but now, is it true that i truly understand her?

by knowing the color she likes, her favorite food, and all the stuff she likes, does that makes me understand her well, and enable me to give her what she want? is that so?

9th of december, is her big day. her big day but i am unable to celebrate with her. i have to stay back in my uni to finish my FYP while she too has to work. now, this will be 2nd time we cannot spend this moment together. her big day yet, both of us are not able to spend time together. i cant celebrate with her, stay by her side like all other lovers will do when one of them celebrating this day. with romance sparkling all around them but now, it an empty space because i couldnt give her a single thing!!!

so i asked her, can i compensate it for another day and she said, then it would be the same as it is not on the big day. now, the blame will now, put on my shoulder for not able to accompany her. yes..its sad to have a boyfriend, but he could not spend the moment together with you. so whats the point having a boyfriend ? if i can choose, if i can only choose to decide on my own destiny. then i will anything i want. i want to give her the best thing i can do. there is never a day, i take her for granted. if she asked me to jump to the sea, i will. if she asked me to jump from 18th floor with her, i will. there is never a day, i wanted to say, 'no, i cant'. i always try to avoid that.

i can feel the sorrow she had. how she need me by her side, to spend this moment together as this happen just once in a lifetime. i missed it, and there is no way i can ever replace it. i called her, and planned to sing birthday song in the phone but, she said .......

she said : this is the 2nd time you are not with me, spending this moment together

she said : if you cant even spend this moment with me, how can you talk about protecting me and love me all my life?

she said : i just want you by my side

she said : you are so 'kejam'

she said : i have nothing to talk to you anymore

she said : .........

every sentences she said to me, leave a very deep, and meaningful 'haunt' on me. i cant answer all the questions she threw at me. i guess..this is what we call, a lousy boyfriend. i tried by best, but my best is yet too far from what been expected. so, what i can do? i had to swallow the damn feeling that make myself trembling so much. i am afraid, i will lose her one day. no!!i cant lose her!!!

so, what can i do? i think of celebrate with her on another day, but now, it seems the feeling wouldn't be the same anymore, because it wont be on the big day but just an ordinary day we have to go through. is it my fault for cannot make it to spend the moment with her? i guess, this is what happen when we have long distance relationship...

all i can say for now is...

baby, wish you Happy Birthday, and i love you always...i am sorry

La Cha TA

2009-11-25T19:11:00.000-08:00

La Cha TA~
La ChA ta~

this is the new song by Korean New Artist, f(x).

f(x) is not an equation, but it represent,
f= flower
xx = female chromosome

before, i am a really obsessed to other girls group, Girls Generation, which consist of 9 members.
Oh~
Tae Yeon is my favorite!!
YA!!!
i have to admit, i am a fan of Korean Music Industry. i just love see them dancing and i feel, that was
AWESOME!!

yesterday i got this video clip of this new group, with the song La Cha Ta, now my head keep on playing the song, and i feel like wana dance myself. haha!!
the new song Chu was nice too...OMG!! and
the five members are damn blardy hot!!!!!!!
i wonder how Korean keep on producing artist who is so catchy, thus make those fan crazy over them.
Argh!!!!
(this apply to men and women too, don't you agree with me?)
the male artist from Korea usually got a lot of female fans too.
ha-ha!!!

for f(x), with the young age of theirs, i believe they will go far, unless they face any controversial, and then split up of what so ever.
ehem!!!
like example, DBSK. No offend ya for DBSK fans, but i think, they are gonna split if the matters is not solve quickly.
good luck to them, anyway, i am a fan of them too.

f(x)!!!
f(x)!!!
f(x)!!!
i vow to support and love you!!!wahahaha!!!

Hope they will come to perform in Malaysia.
(quite a dream, as only DBSK, the only Korean Group ever have concert in Malaysia)

why???
why???

Another Day In UTP

2009-11-25T19:02:00.000-08:00

I woke up at 10.15am today. the first thing i do is press the *ON* button of my PC and spend my first hour sitting in from on it. then, i read online newspaper, The Star. ya, today have quite numbers of 'interesting' news though.(if you read newspaper, you will know what i mean).
so, now i am planning what to do for the whole day.

any idea?

any idea?

I dont know lar

2009-11-25T10:42:00.000-08:00

its been a while i didn't manage to update here. its been a tiring week for me. Last week, i just gone through hell where i have 5 papers for final examination, and 3 of them was within 24 hours. it was not easy and everyone from my course have been cracking out their brain for the exam. i myself, struggling to cope with the pace of time. firstly, Malaysian Studies( Reading reading reading), then Modern Control Engineering(Calculation Calculation calculation) and then Multimedia Network(Reading, Calculation, reading, calculation).
WOW!!!
What a challenge!!!

i think i screwed up at least 3 out of my 5 examinations. so, 3 A's is fleeing from my grasp as i realized too many silly mistakes i made, and plenty of marks is gone. so, dean list is an impossibility? 2 more papers also *separuh tong*. haiz...
so, who is to blame? is it myself for struggling with 3 papers in 24 hours or the university management who never consider the limitation of human brain?
(i die die also blame my uni..)

and for this semester break, i had to stay back in the university.
PURPOSE: to complete my fyp before the start of my last semester
hopefully, i can get over with all this quickly. its kinda boring stay alone in the hostel with all your friends went back home. but,there is changes for oral presentation. my external examiner changed to Mr **(he is very strict, and..........) i am screwed this time.
HEAD SHOT!!!
bam!!!
what am i going to do??
work harder?
or struggle harder?
i guess, i am gonna be really dead soon. out of sudden, all e bad luck came to me. ergh!!! what am i supposed to do? surely he is gonna ask me freaking crappy question in which i don't have answer for it, i cant *goreng* what i am going to say. surely those lecturers are the expert one in this field of my project. a slip of my tongue will cost me losing my A again.
DAMN IT!!!

and today, i spend all my time in front of the PC. not doing my fyp, not studying, but playing games.
OMG!!!
however, luckily enough, i did take some time to go for jogging. at least i do something beneficial. now, i doubt myself, if i am able to finish my fyp in time.

i need catalyst. something to push me, and fire me up to work. i wonder if, throwing away my PC is a good idea..
hahahaa!!

Who are to be blame?

2009-11-03T22:14:00.000-08:00

Accident. No one love this word. myself, i hate using this word, for myself or others. however, it do happens as we cant avoid it. it seems god created accident, so we as human being, do not slack off, and should be aware of our surrounding. do not take things lightly.

recently, 3 UTAR students was drown in Batu Berangkai, Kampar. for many people, this is so-called, accidents. mother nature had this disaster took 3 young lives who yet to accomplish their dream and their hopes. is mother nature is to be blame in this incident? have anyone thought of, if this incident can be avoided? or we just wanted to assume, 'oh, it was god's decision. everything happen was fated to be'.

Lets look into this case. Going to the waterfall, is whose opinion? it is not bad...its kinda good choice for relaxing after some hectic schedule. Going to the waterfall after raining, is a really really bad idea. this is what happened to these 3 students. i am not trying to put the blame on them. i mean, maybe, they dont know, they do not aware, mother nature will be cruel sometimes. and who will do something that will harm ourself right?

before this, one of student from University Technology Petronas also drown here, in Batu Berangkai waterfall. i believe, everyone who stay around Kampar or if you are sensitive to the issue happening around you, you should know all about this. Batu Berangkai is famous for its strong current, as it is unpredicted plus if it is after raining. so...why there is no extra precaution to make sure the safety is well assured?

nobody wanted this to happen, but what had happens, we cant change it back. what we can do is, to avoid more of this accident happen in future.

for the family member of the victims, i would like to say condolences. i hope this post create no offense but some awareness from all this

Pokaiii....

2009-10-29T01:35:00.000-07:00

RM500 was banked in yesterday. when money is in, so, the more it tend go out from our pocket.
this is how all my RM500, scholar for the month of November was spent today. Just in one day!!

Rm100 used to pay for phone bills.

this month is a 'lucky' month for me. In October, my car was caught by speed trap and i have to pay Rm200 for summon. damn!!

RM70 used for medicine. (if you are my friend you'll know why)

Rm20 for my Final Year Project. (can be claim by wait for another 3 months)

for some back up food, such as maggi and biscuit, i went to Tesco and spent around rm30.

so, Rm100+Rm200+Rm70+RM20+RM30=RM420

usually, the petronas scholar was assumed rich at the early of the month but actually it is the other way round. nowadays, RM100 is very small in value. how many things you can buy with RM100? i believe if you buy branded cloth, the most you can buy(even discount-ed) is just 2 pieces of cloths. this is just an example. i dont buy branded cloth, simply said, i dont buy cloth for myself.

so, now, in my pocket left RM80 to spend for the whole November. Lucky for me, i still have small business going on which will generate some income for me. am i a big spender? or it is just the luck is not with me???(DAMn, Damn damn, lose Rm200 just like that....argh!!!)

i guess this will happen even after graduate. paying for bills, some expenditure for family, house loan, car loan. Money is really a headache....gotta find wayS to generate more income?

any idea??

26 hours and 35 minutes

2009-10-24T08:09:00.000-07:00

i have been counting the time, we been apart. it was 26 hours and 35 minutes. as time keep on running, it will change from hours to days, from days to weeks. even though we just apart for just approximately one day, it feels like a year or a century perhaps. the time goes by so slowly.

usually, at this time, you will be calling me and we will chat on the phone as you lying on your bed, preparing to sleep. but tonight, my hand phone did not ring. if feels so weird as if i keep on expecting you to call. the feeling was so hard right now.

i try not to think about you, but i failed to do so. when i flipped through my notes, you came to my mind. so, i try playing games, but you come into the monitor and smile at me. i will go crazy at this rates. why i am so obsessed to you? why you happen to be part of my life? and why you influence me so much?

the answer is very obvious. this is because, i was made for you. and you are there to complete me. now that you are not here, i am just a half human, and another half is just a meat bag perhaps. i hope you will come back as soon as possible.

i am wondering hows your life there. is it cold during the night? and are u as hectic as always during the days? i guess this is the life after graduate. working and no more life.

i try to relax a little bit. playing puzzle of our picture, handmade by myself. perhaps this might help me, being so out of my mind...

zzZzz......

zzzzzzz.....

am i able to go on without thinking of you just for a while?? i knew i cant..

Its gonna be tough tough period...

2009-10-18T21:58:00.000-07:00

its been awhile, we have to be apart for a while. however, this time would not be the same because we might not able to contact via hand phone or internet. i am wondering. how i am going to spend my time without you and will you feel the same too?? the anniversary just passed by recently, but i feel everything so new, like starting all over again, fresh....however, the feeling never decreasing but becoming stronger.

i am quite depressed recently that i made you cried. every tears drop from your eyes is like blades strike through my heart. piercing every pieces of it. painful..and i cant bear to see you crying. that's why i gave in, and tolerate with you. i am thinking, 'its ok, i should not angry anymore'.

yesterday is another burst out of me. i just cannot cool myself down. its just, i felted you never appreciated of what i have done to deserve all this crap from you. i just put the blame on you without realizing how ridiculous i am. yes..i act like i am mind-less guy. ignoring what you pleaded to me like going in left ear and going out from right ear. that time, everything seems like no meaning anymore. however, the moment i step away from you, the feeling of guilty was all over me. i wanted to go over you, hug u, but my hand just couldn't listen to me. when i looked at you as you walked away from me, i feel so sad...and i feel i am so far away from you even we are just meters away.

as i walk away, i am thinking if what i did was wrong or right. do you thinking the same too when we depart to our destination? i dont know anymore about you. when i sat on the train, i closed my eyes try to take a nap, and the picture of you projected in my mind. how could i forget you just for a moment? huh...

i know you are angry at me but if you can understand me more, i believe none of this will happen. if i can be tolerate to you, all these might not happen too..so, its hard to say who is wrong and who is right. we cant blame anyone but ourselves i guess, for not appreciate all the moment we have. the time is short, and we are gonna be apart for one month in which..we never be apart like this before..

no matter what, i always love you...and no words can ever describe my love for you...

Moment in Car with Bunch of friends

2009-09-28T22:51:00.000-07:00

Friend A : Come on..do you even know how to drive?
Friend B : Of cos, i know..
Friend C : Such a loser, i know you dont have a license..be a man!!
Friend D : You cannot say so, dont have a license doesnt mean are a loser.
Friend C : As a guy, how can you live without driving. prove us you have a license. show us..
Friend B : Why should i show? even i have a license, what benefit i will get..
Friend A : eh eh...just show la..loser!!
Friend D : show us and earn my respect towards you.
Friend B : Do i need your respect?

The car filled with laughter....

End up, Friend B has license and Friend D do not have..

Friend D is the one who make 'cold' jokes..
Friend B is the one will answer unexpectedly towards your question..
Friend A is the initiator..
Friend C is the innocent one...( i believe someone will be killed for coming out with this statement)

picked from Malaysiakini

2009-09-14T20:48:00.000-07:00

'Jika anda semak rekod pencapaiannya, dia tidak buat apa-apa. Tiada apa yang boleh ditunjukkan, walaupun sebagai presiden. Satu-satunya pencapaiannya ialah memecat saya' kata Chua

'if you check his achievements, he did nothing. he has nothing to show even as a president. the only thing he can show is firing me' says chua

taken from http://www.malaysiakini.com/news/112880

UTP Hostel

2009-09-10T10:19:00.000-07:00

since i am so boring and have no mood to study, so i decided to take some picture of my hostel, my house, and 'someone room' . don't ask whose room is this. it doesn't matter rite? not important la. i just too 'free'...wana release tension as well..

here we go!!!

one of the messy room. look at the unfold blanket, the chair, and the bags.
and the orange shirt. omg!!keep in the cupboard la..

this is a table of *****(name being censored). quite tidy for a guy.

when i go nearer, i managed to snap a pic of the hidden area at the corner. what we have here, cola tin(it is empty), perfume, moving rubber(for hair), and A4 papers.
huh..

now lets take a look at the bed. and look at this!! cute isnt it? sleep early..but who gonna sleep early here? kakah...

here we come, the corridor outside the room. we have 6 rooms in our house.

and this is the place we cook for food, the kitchen!! so clean...

last but not least, the entrance to our house. wth!! so messy..everyone just throw their sandals everywhere include mine. where is it?i can't find it...

so, please bare with us. this is a house where all guys stay together. people says, 'bachelor's house'. its kinda tidy compared to others, i guess...haha!!i am not too sure either..hohoho...

12.38am

2009-09-10T09:37:00.000-07:00

its already midnight, but, all my housemate still stay awake. they are having test tomorrow morning. its Power System II, the subject sounds easy but it is very tough. i am not gonna take this subject as my minor next semester. hahaha....

my roomate still busy studying. look at his table..

so messy with the notes...i am able to snap a picture when he not around just now..hehe

*below show what my other housemates doing*

the guy with red shirt is my roomate.

Tension..Tension!!

this is the smart ass in our batch!!!

haha..i am so 'wu liao'. i dont feel like studying for test next week. the mood is not there. anyway, wish you guys good luck...

Test is just Part of our life. is failure matters alot in our life? i guess the answer might be yes...hehe

Gate Gods

2009-09-10T06:49:00.000-07:00

for Chinese people, this month is the month where we believe that the Door of Hell is being opened. when the door is being opened, so all the ghost is believed to have freedom for a month before going back. talking about door or gate, dont you know, there are God of Gate?

In China, there used to be a custom to put drawings of the gate gods on gates during the Chinese New Year. As you may know, there are many gods worshiped in China, especially during traditional festivals. Though Chinese have the traditions of worshipping many gods and most people usually follow the traditions, religions have never been as deeply rooted in Chinese as those in many other countries. The Chinese people are more practical in philosophy or gods. So different gods are invited for different occasions. For an example, when they were lack of money, the god of fortune would be the guest at the table of sacrifice. So we say, 'A god in need is a god indeed.' No matter how things happened, however, you can always find a story proving its inevitability of being there. And the presentation of the gate gods had no exceptions as well.

It is said that long ago there grew a peach forest. The king of the peach trees shaded two stone huts in which lived two brothers, Shen Tu and Yu Lei. Both of them were so strong that in front of them lions would bend down their heads, leopards shivered at them and tigers gave in entirely to promise to serve as guards in the forest. And the two brothers lived there on the peaches.

In the Northeast of Mount Duso, there lived a monster which was said the son of a spirit of a bull. By right of the uncommon strength, it made itself the king of that area. When it heard that the delicious peaches on the mountain of Duso were magic in turning an evil into a god, he couldn't wait to go there. Of course, the monster was refused absolutely by the brothers. The monster was so angry that he led more than 300 ghosts to fight against the brothers. After a fierce fight, the monster was defeated completely and ran away. But the monster wouldn't bury its axe. In the dark, he sent a few of the strongest ghosts to attack the brothers' huts. Though the ghosts appeared with blue faces, long buckteeth and dark red eyes, the brothers were very calm and they determined to give them a hard blow. The elder brother fought ahead with a hard stem of a tree and the younger followed with a strong reed rope. When the brother beat down one of the ghosts, the younger would tie it hard and put it into the mouth of a tiger. The bothers, Shen Tu and Yu Lei, won the battle at that night and the ghosts never dared to annoy them again.

Thus, the reputation of the brothers was spread quickly around the area, and they also helped a lot of people in the area. Many years later, when the bothers died, people thought they had got into the Heaven and became gods there and served as guards by the gate of the Heaven. Because the gate gods were once lived in the peach forest, people thought the branches of peach trees were full of magic. So it began to get popular for people to hang a peach board with the bothers' names on it on each side of their door pinning their hope for peace on the two giants. When paper was used, a picture of them was put up instead of those peach boards

so, this is the story of The Gate Gods

What a day!!!

2009-09-09T11:21:00.000-07:00

Yeay...after few days of hard work, finally i am done with my Progress Report for Final Year project. goshh!! It was really tiring doing something that you dont have knowledge on it. Luckily enough, Internet is the source that i can really rely on, and i cant deny the support you been giving me really push me to finish it as soon as possible.

now, it is time to re-edit it. maybe there are some error for sentences or mis-spell the words?
feeling so lazy for the coming days. 2 tests coming next week. when i flipped through the notes just now, i just realized how lagged i am. really have to buck up in time yo fook yong..wake up!!wake up!!

its kinda hot today. i am sweating even though i am sitting under the fan. everyone complaining about this. this evening show some sign of ranning but just for few minutes. so disappointed.

for my sister who is taking UPSR, good luck and gamateh, ur koh koh supports you always...when you read this post, dont terharu ya..haha...go go go..5A!!!

Oil and Gas Price uncertain..

2009-09-07T07:10:00.000-07:00

Oil prices edged slightly higher Friday after the government reported the fewest monthly job losses in a year.

Benchmark crude for October delivery rose 6 cents to settle at $68.02 a barrel in on the New York Mercantile Exchange. The contract Thursday slipped 9 cents to settle at $67.96.

The Labor Department said Friday that the unemployment rate rose to 9.7 percent in August, the government said. With 216,000 jobs lost, unemployment has reached levels last seen in 1983. Yet that was less than July’s revised 276,000 jobs.]

die lah...will be jobless d...!!!!

Old Folks home?

2009-09-07T06:43:00.000-07:00

Taking care of our elderly seems to be huge problem for our society and it is really important that we plan to take care of the older generation and one of the best ways to do this is to spend more time with our parents, not sending them to old folks home.

we will have to accept the fact that, one day, our parents will grew old and then it will be our responsibility to take care of them. there is an adage says, ' A mom can take care of 10 children, but a son/daughter cant take care of their only parents'. lets ask ourselves, why do this things happen ?

every year, we can see the residents of old folks home increasing in numbers. if we were to ask the children of today who sent their parents to old folks home, they will gives a lot of excuse. the most common one is, they need to work and do not have time to take care of them. some might says, too busy, and when i read some articles about these, there are some who complained that their parents are very troublesome.

so, why do all these kind of things happen? so what happened to our parents effort taking care of us till we are so-called able to take care of ourselves? when our parents gets old, isn't it our responsibilities as son/daughter to take care of them?

I've been to some old folks home before as a volunteer. there, i can see the loneliness in their eyes. even though, our presence do cheers them up a little, but i believe they will be more happy, if their own children are there for them instead of us. i did chat with a grandpa there and he kept on talk about his children, how smart his children, and how good his children was. he even says its better for him to stay there instead of being with his child. so, can you imagine, what is the weight of the love of your parents towards you? even you 'throw' them to these homes, they will never blame you.

in my own opinion, how long our parents will be with us? they wun be with us forever. appreciate all the moment when we are able to be with them. one day, we will become parents too...maybe, at that time, we might understand the feeling being a parents more....

Life...

2009-09-07T00:51:00.000-07:00

Is baby wonderful??!! They come into this world naked; kicking, and screaming their lungs out. Parents gaze in awe at this miniature human being and of course they take the credit for creating this bundle of joy.

but, I consider we have short duration of life, consider the little space we fill and see, engulfed in the infinite immensity of spaces, I rest frightened, and astonished, for there is no reason why we should be here rather than there. Why now rather than then? Who has put me here? By whose order and direction have this place and time have been ascribed to me?

However, Love gives meaning to our lives – as do friendship, or art or faith in God. These are factors of true happiness, of inner peace, of feelings of harmony, allowing meaning to our existence.

But there is the other side. There is the cruelty of life, the pain, the evil, not to talk of death.

Is between these pendulums - the positive, the one that gives happiness and meaning, and the negative - that our lives are lived. We arrive at a diverse and disagreeing set of thoughts about the meaning and purpose of life.

Is Life beautiful? or yet life is not a bed of roses? Though it is full of ups and downs it has many facets of blessings and successes.

To some people, life is hard, cruel and merciless. These set of people see life as punishment throughout their entire lives. They therefore resigned themselves to fate, believing all is finished. To them, nothing that they do can ever be good.

But there are those who see life as a challenge, a channel of discovery and innovation, a prospect for success and a gateway to wealth. To them life is sweet, colourful and kind. No matter the situation these people find themselves, they keep pressing on, believing in a cause, a cause to succeed and get the most out of life. No wonder an adage says, “Where there is life, there is hope.”

The will to succeed or fail lies within an individual jurisdiction. On the other hand, life can be miserable to you if you take everything for granted and wait on fate to play itself out.

Life is a challenge. And for anyone to succeed in life, he must be ready to show the stuff he is made of. He must be ready to sacrifice his time and build up his mind frame toward success. What is happening in our environment should not influence or affect us in our daily quest for success in life. Instead, we should control the happenings around us.

Many people rush and miss what they want to achieve in life. I believe this is what led them to failure sometimes.

I think Life should be very simple and Life should be enjoyed. What ya think?

Done, and Undone

2009-09-04T03:48:00.000-07:00

Done : PPCS TEST 1

Undone : Lab MN, Lab PPCS, and FYP Progress Report

wah...sound simple, but it required a lot effort. Lab MN is a blurr case. Lab for PPCS willl take whole day and FYP progress report, arghh!! what to write? still lost leh...

god god....please show me the path...

Sweet Memory

2009-08-26T05:17:00.000-07:00

alright, how should i start this? erm, ok...let me ask you a question, when i say, best friend, who comes into your mind? and when i say heng tai(for guys) and ji mui(for gurls), who comes into your mind?

well, a few days ago, precisely, on 24th of august 2009, was our big bro, Ong's birthday. why he was called big bro? not because he is oldest among us(in fact, he is), not because his looks(he looked cute though), but because, he is actually, one of my best ever friend, opps..sorry, i should say one of 'our' best ever friend.

so, we decided to throw him a surprise party. as usual, for those whose gonna get prank, they will surely aware on that. instead of doing it at 12am(24th August 2009), we decided to do it after 30 minutes.

alright, this will explain the incident that happen on Ong's Best Birthday.

12.30am - all of us gathered in Lee's room. we prepared eggs,a pail mixture of body shampoo, a pail of mixture of detergent, and a pail of clear water. look, we are so good, we planned to wash his body tonight.

12.40am - Ong's roomate, Chin, successfully cheated Ong to the toilet. and guess what happened?
We rushed in and attacked him with whatever in our hands

Splash Splash!!Get wet all over.....

this is Lee laughing and behind the guy doing slam dunk, using eggs, is our cutie boy, Pangkor, "yah, i am gonna slam, shoot you with eggs!!'

this is our birthday boy, after being attacked. guess, what was he saying?

a) hey, stop it, i am all over...wet!!i just bathed u know...
b) is it raining over here??
c) OMG!!!i am gonna kill you..
d) bring me shampoo please..and with towel ya...

the answer is,

A...of cos...haha!!

look at this birthday boy, what you think? he looked very happy...

this is how the toilet looks like after the attack, the place where the birthday boy held 'protected'

and we bring the birthday cake, into to toilet and he said, 'no, i dont wanna blow my cake in the toilet'

however, we insisted and we take a group picture in...the toilet....wahaha..

here, he actually blew it in the toilet....'hussshhh'

while waiting the birthday boy to take a bath, a group of engineers, was actually cleaning the toilet. we have chemical engineers, mechanical engineers, electrical & electronics engineer, and opps...we missed civil engineers here. anyone out there??

after the surprise prank in the toilet, we gathered in Ong's room, we chatted, laughed and have fun together. its kinda hard to have all of us together, unless there is special occasion. since we are all from different fields and so on.

the moment in the room :

our very best debater in our country, Lee, defending himself..

together, we shared our laughter

how could we live without laughter?

cake of laughter, as we really laugh alot that night..

with all our hands together, we yam sheng......

lastly, the cake that we bought for Ong. hope you will like it.

getting to know you all brothers, really make me proud. i hope, even after we graduated, we still can shared the joy and laughter together. happy birthday, Ong tai loh...

' the purpose of this post, doesnt mean any teasing or jokes, apologize if you feel insulted, indirectly'

2009-08-25T00:36:00.000-07:00

我承認我愛上你的美
你的臉和你的眉
無法再自戀

我承認我愛上你的美
你讓全宇宙失眠
讓我愛到像流星一樣的墜
我才發現睡不能睡腦海都是你畫面
幸福幫我剪接你的笑臉

我承認我愛上你的美
你的美沒有虛偽
讓我愛你愛到忘了我是誰

因為你我愛上夜的黑
像搭著無人地鐵
開向你為我設的專署路線
終于看見

What a week

2009-08-18T10:30:00.000-07:00

this week, has been such a hectic week. i am left with too many 'undone' stuff.

the first thing is the problem with my add/drop. last week i been to registry to make the correction, drop Corporate Ethics and add Strategic Management. today, when i check in Student Portal, Corporate Ethics is still there. wth!!!! tomorrow gonna check again with registry. i wonder what they been doing for a week.

second thing, is FYP. now, the title is there. the material is there, but still lack of understanding. microcontroller is not something easy that we can understand by just reading notes(because i been doing so, yet i still do not understand). i am such a loser...again...cant give up yet. 2 credit hour is still crucial and next semester, this FYP II will be 4 credit hours!!!!

third thing is my car havent get a service yet. the major problem here is the scholar is not even in yet for this month. it is 19th of the month already. come on, we are just a student. by holding our money is being too much for us. for those who are rich, having own savings, you might survive. however, when come to students who just 'ngam ngam ho', the money is not too much or less. it is hard to live actually, as i still survive till now. thanks to supply of milos, biscuits, cereal and etc. thank you darling for this. this is the time to weight myself, and guess what i get?? yes, i did it. i reduced my weight. it is less than 80kg now. thanks to you 'un-in' scholar. thanks for pending the scholar availability.

the fourth thing? luckily enough, i dont have to continue to the fourth or fifth as the 3 things mentioned above, have already giving me headache and spinning me, on the merry-go-round......

it is not easy to be a full-grown man...

FYP

2009-08-13T22:16:00.000-07:00

Final Year Project been so crucial to many students so far. as far as i am concern, i wonder, how much the limited knowledge that we posses, could lead us to achieve the objectives of all projects being proposed? yeah! there are bunch of brilliant students who can easily do well, but, how about others who just got to know or hear about their project for the first time(Topics proposed by Supervisors)?? then i guess, those people gotta work hard for it..

as for me, being a Robocon member just bring enough luck for me, to have such courage to even try to do a project, i am not really familiar with. PIC based Controller Board development. Sound easy yeah? it is a project that modifying AR40B board for controlling purpose. for those been a Robocon Member, i am sure this board is not a stranger for you.

being an active member for Robocon for a year, but gained a little knowledge about the specification of the board, sound like a loser. except enhanced skills for programming, frankly i learn little about this board. so, now its time to buck up? still not too late right?

i seen all my uni mates having their great great ideas and superb projects. quite envy of them, but my project is not that lousy too right? it will be a new thing that i am gonna develop. new things that might contribute to the Robotics industry perhaps.

for my friends, wish you all good luck for one step towards your FYP....go go go...

i love you!!!

2009-08-07T20:28:00.000-07:00

i am sorry for saying this. but after calculating all the time we went through, can i say, this year will be our 5th anniversary?

since the day we meet, until now, we just realized how we need each other so much. there were time we quarrel and there are also sweet memories that keep us together. people say, no matter what had happened, if we are made for each other, we will be together till forever. is it true if i want to apply this quotes to our relationship?

i know how much you care for me. i even know that, you always try your best for me. today, i am really happy having you as my darling. an infinity thanks to you for what you have done for me, and for all the love you shower on me. can i declare i am the happiest guy now at the moment?(maybe there are other more happy than i am, but who cares,wohoo~)

i really wish our 5th anniversary which will come in one and a half month time, will again bring the sweet memory to us. wish you happy and stay healthy always. i love you, may...

baby, i miss you...

守护着你

2009-07-23T04:08:00.000-07:00

你是我都全部耀眼的美丽
我的新娘是神赐予我的礼物
幸福吗??
黑色的眼睛流着眼泪
直到你满头白发
我的爱我的你我发誓一直爱你
爱你的那句话想每日向你表白
爱你一生珍惜一世
想让你枕着我的手臂入睡
你愿意接受我的心吗
我会一直留在你身边
我对你的爱
珍惜每一刻
守护着你

in Dilemma

2009-07-20T06:54:00.000-07:00

what a year...now i am really headache....i dont know what topic to choose for my FYP. i have no idea...totally lost. i can see all the lectures are willing to help the students but, are the students ready for the challenges ahead?

FYP is a project done by all Final year students. i hope i can do something related to oil and gas industry, but what?

Sensor Based Gas Leakage Detector or Design of Smart Dust for Oil and Gas Industry??

even if i choose one of them, can i do it with the knowledge i have now? feel so empty and no confident. die lar this semester. all dealing with programming. shit shit shit!!!

FYP, i love u!!!!!!!arghh..........

a loss....

2009-07-18T23:40:00.000-07:00

what an intuition. last night having a bad dream. and this morning, i lost rm200 just like that. damn it..

now i am taking own time, giving myself alot of reasons, to justify the hurt i feel inside. arghhh....

what about take a dive?
to lose all the anger i felt in within myself....

.

Boring

2009-07-18T09:39:00.000-07:00

time passed by so fast. i still remember the first day i am here, in my uni. the air was so fresh. with new enthusiasm, passion, mission, vision bla, bla, bla....i stepped into my very first room in this uni, the Propana. it surely left me a lot of memories. with bunch of friends, say bye bye to the word 'boring' we used to hang out together and finally we have this bond call friendship.

now, it is my final year in this uni. final year, first sem gonna commerse in just one day. i am not sure what subject i am gonna take. so blurr..have to arrange the timetable, the labs, tutorials and also the lectures and all overlapping. wth..!!!

i am sure, after the internship, many of us learn alot. working in real environment as an engineeer. today, i realise i look damn blardy fat in the mirror. when my friend saw me, they shouted, ' Fatty'........$@%$#*$%#$%&*!@.....damn it!!!

hopefully, this sem..can get good GPAs too...wish me lucks...sleepy...wana go mamak liao..gonna 1am d...chiao..

.

Soon to Depart

2009-07-07T06:52:00.000-07:00

its been 8 months here, in KL doing my internship and now, it has going to end in 3 days time. Being in Petronas as a trainee really a great experience and there is no doubt, it will my first learning platform towards oil and gas industry. looking at myself before being here, i am just nothing. i knew nothing at all about oil and gas. how the petroleum being taken out from the seabed till to the end user. have you ever think about it? it is the job of engineers, that all the cars able to run on the road with petrol. (of course there are other parties as well).

however, tomorrow will be a very important for me as there will be an assessment on my by the senior engineers to determine what level i am in. Seeding?E1? or E2(this one impossible la)? this is how the ranks of engineer in Petronas being done.

Seeding-Junior Engineer(just joined Petronas)
E1- Junior Engineer but higher rank compare to Seeding
E2- Engineer
E3- Senior Engineer
E4- Senior Manager(engineer, TP-Technical Person)
E5- Custodian(this level is very hard to reach, in Malaysia there is less than 10 Custodian)

So, where do i stand? seriously i feel so nervous. imagine being asked and bombarded with question for more than 3 hours, what ya feel? am i able to reach their expectation? i am trying to recap as much i can. not going to sleep tonight to study? gotta be kidding me...but..i have no other choice.

i cant set a target for myself as i do not know, where is the set point for this. all i can do is try my best perhaps. for other trainees who will being access after me, good luck!!!haha........

its you..

2009-06-15T18:05:00.000-07:00

its you,
its only you,
its you,
its only you,
its you,
its only you,

i dont need anyone else,
its only you,
when you ask again,
its only you,
even if you already have another love,
i cant forget you,
i cant turn back around...

the moment my eyes began to burn,
the moment my heart was captured by you,
i have no regrets,
i chose you,
thats right,
its you....

whatever anyone..anyone says,
it doesnt matter to me,
or whoever...whoever curses me,
i will only look at you,
even i am born again,
its still only you...
tic toc tic toc.....
even as time goes by,

and when you tell me you love me,
when you tell me thousands and millions of times,
even when my hearts sets on fire,
my dry lips wear out,
even i am born again,
its still only you...
tic toc tic toc.....
even as time goes by,
only for you..

i dont need any words,
its just you,
its too late,
but for me its just you,
i know our love is wrong,
but i cant give up,
i cant let you go..

my lips cold as can be,
are even more blue,
i cry out to find your warmth,
i call...even though i call for you and theres no reply,
i'll wait for you...

How men change

2009-06-08T07:38:00.000-07:00

The Love Word:
After 6 weeks: I looo-ve you, I love you, I love you!
After 6 months: Of course, I love you.
After 6 years: GOD, if I didn't love you, then why did I marry you?

Back from Work:
After 6 weeks: Honey, I'm home!
After 6 months: I'm BACK!!
After 6 years: Have you cooked yet?

Phone Ringing:
After 6 weeks: Baby, somebody wants you on the phone.
After 6 months: Here, it's for you.
After 6 years: ANSWER THE PHONE DAM*T!!

Cooking:
After 6 weeks: I never knew food could taste so good!
After 6 months: What are we having for dinner tonight?
After 6 years: DUMPLING AGAIN??

New Dress:
After 6 weeks: Wow, you look like an angel in that dress.
After 6 months: You bought a new dress again?
After 6 years: How much did THAT cost me?

TV:
After 6 weeks: Baby, what would you like us to watch tonight?
After 6 months: I like this movie.
After 6 years: I'm going to watch PIRATES play, if you're not in the mood, go to bed, I can stay up by myself!

Making Love:
After 6 weeks: Baby, I want you tonight?
After 6 months: Lets make another baby, my mother just called!!!
After 6 years: Please MOVE over to your side, I'm suffocating here!!!!

Seek not Heart

2009-06-07T05:43:00.000-07:00

How gentle winds 'neath moonlit skies,
Don't you hear my heartfelt cries?

Below the branches, here about,
Do not you sense my fear and doubt?
Side glistening rivers, sparkling streams,
Do not you hear my woeful screams?

Upon the meadows, touched with dew,
Do not you see my hearts a'skew?
Beneath the thousand twinkling stars,
Do not you feel my jagged scars?

Seek not my mournful heart kind breeze,
For you'll not find it 'mongst these trees.

It's scattered 'cross the moonlit skies,
Accompanied by heartfelt sighs.
It's drifting o're the gentle rain,
A symbol of my silent pain.

It's buried 'neath the meadow fair,
Conjoined with all the sorrow there.
It's lost among the stars this night,
Too far to ease my quiet fright.

No gentle winds, seek not my heart,
For simply ... it has torn apart.

Day after work

2009-05-20T04:38:00.001-07:00

Its been 6 days by bro went to china. its glad to hear from him...he is doing well there. because of this, my dad decided to buy a new pc at home, in order to chat with my bro instead of calling him. the first day he went to china, we spent more than rm200 for phone bill.

now, everyday after work, i got to chat with my family. my dad, my mum and my siblings. we view each other at cams. even though we do not speak to each other, but we type and i realized something. before, there are many words we cant say to each other which i believe will never spoken out from our very mouth but now, we can easily type it.

i do not know it this has sort of 'decreasing' the gap between us. i used not to talk to my dad at home. i do not know why, and i also wanted to know why. but now, in msn, we can chat in anything. (wonder if can do this face to face, maybe...)

when people hear about globalization, everyone shook their head and blame on lack of communication. but the situation i am now, is much different from what the other said.

so, according to the lesson learnt from COP(too much influenced by my department), there is pros and cons in everything that happens in life. we need to look into every point of view. do not judge too fast...

.

The day after tomorrow

2009-05-17T05:31:00.000-07:00

Last friday will be a historical day for my family. That is the day where my younger bro went to China to further his study. Yeah!! i can say it was his dream come true. Since small, he wanted to be a doctor, and now he is doing Medicine in China.

Many people asked, Why China? Do China offer Medicine? Or he went for acupuncture?

hey Man!!Come one..China have the largest population of human in this world. How can you ask question like, China Have Medicine?
I was thinking...'What the heck?Whats wrong with these people??"
Alright...Lets go back to the topic...

My younger bro, who is the only bro i have, is very close to each of my family. he is the guy who bring the joy and laughter to all of us. he made jokes and do cheer us up. But, he is kinda childish but what can we expect from a boy from his age? he is only 18...

His departure was a huge 'blow' for my mum. i can say he is the closest child among us siblings with my mum. since very small, he used to be together with my mum. when he went to china, my mum is the one cried the most. i know, my bro has been act tough in front of us. the day he went to china, i can hear his voice a bit of wet when i called him at the airport..as he had to go in first and sit alone to wait to board. i have to say, i respect his courage to go china alone. he travelled without any guidance. from Malaysia to Hanzhou, then from hanzhou to sichuan in which he had to transit.

the first day he went to china, all of us look he walked away with heavy heart. but we need to let him go, so that he can walk on a path he carved himself.

My bro and my Mum

I have faith with my bro. i believe he can be a good doctor. for the past 18 years, i know he is a very positive guy. no doubt he is one of the smart-** i knew. haha...wish him all the best and good luck in what he do..

OII...when you see this post, keep in your tail ah....gamateh bro!!! remember our promises....

we are waiting you to come back here....take care always...

Miss u much!!!

From

Your beloved family..your koh koh...

Cant Help it

2009-05-11T05:48:00.000-07:00

i still remember how nice the weather,
the day the story ends,
made current of me has no feeling,
before you exist my world,
but now you had fly freely away,

in my heart,
there is still pieces of you,
this is the thing i can ever throw away,
your smile,
just incomplete,
even reaching the end of the story,
there are things i cant help it...

cant help it,
each time looking at you i just cant bear the feeling,

cant help it,
turn around the sad ending,

cant help it,
to deny how beautiful you are to me,

cant help it,
to alter the storyline,

i just cant help it.....

Pain painful

2009-05-11T04:44:00.000-07:00

it is painful right after taking a nap in this super duper hot weather. please rain...

headache, feeling dizzy and i am going crazy with this humid and hot weather...

please dont come and kacau me or i will 'bite' you till you die...

TAKING A WOMAN TO BED

2009-05-10T23:38:00.001-07:00

What is the difference between girls/woman aged: 8, 18, 28, 38, 48, 58. 68, and 78?

At 8 -- You take her to bed and tell her a story.

At 18 -- You tell her a story and take her to bed.

At 28 -- You don't need to tell her a story to take her to bed.

At 38 -- She tells you a story and takes you to bed.

At 48 -- She tells you a story to avoid going to bed.

At 58 -- You stay in bed to avoid her story.

At 68 -- If you take her to bed, that'll be a story!

At 78 -- What story??? What bed??? Who the hell are you???

It is just another lazy morning

2009-05-10T18:35:00.000-07:00

i decided not to go to work today. why? the answer is very simple. i am lazy...

yes, taking an off day is not a problem. it might just have others look weird at me but who gives a damn?

6.45am: my alarm rang

6.46am:gosh!! i just wana lie down

6.49am:i looked at the window and i go to toilet

6.59am:decided, i am not going to work

then i slept

8.00am:woke up and rethink if i am doing the wrong thing

8.05am:yes, i did the right thing

i sleep again

9.05am:mukh tar called "XXXX, you going to Yokogawa today?"
woke up blurred and answered him "yeah yeah, i am going, why?"
mukh tar "oh, because YYYY didnt come so i guess you all must be going there"

9.30am:completely woke up. the weather damn hot...

9.40am:blogging on how regret i am...

Moral of the story :

Dont be lazy...

Underestimate?

2009-05-10T05:57:00.000-07:00

So what if you are rich?

So what if you are slightly clever?

So what if you are better than others? Physically?? Mentally??

Since very small, i seen many types of people. Living in this so-called 'realistic world', no doubt that there are others who are just better than us, in terms of things which i just cant compare. but it is just like SHIT when you look down on others just because you are rich. You think you can just throw money on people and make them bark when you love to? and make them crawl if you feel want to? you are just one piece of SHIT there. money can buy happiness? health? money is not everything. some may argue without money we cant do much but who gives a damn? do we need 10 karat of diamond to live? do we need 10 BMW to drive?

so what if my house is small? but it is filled with family who loves each other and dont look down on others...

so what if i drives small car? as the path we passed by leaves sweet memory....

so what if i dont wear tuxedo? as the cloth i wear sew by my beloved one...

so what if i only eat simple food?i am healthy enough to go on with my life....

alright, dont talk about wealth. there are people who just smarter and look on those who are just i would like to say slow in term of learning. so what if you are smarter? UPSR straight A's? PMR?SPM?STPM all straight A's? or you are a four flatter in your university? i just dont give a damn about that..if you are smart? you will still have to die right?

ask yourself...

wont you die if you jump down from 10th floor of building?

wont you die if you gt knocked down by a truck?

we are just human being. no one is perfect and there is no need to set a guideline to judge a person...

rich or poor?

smart o stupid?

it has no meaning.. why do people still love underestimate others? just because other cant do as much as you are? or just because other cant buy big cars like you are? you drive big cars? who gives a damn? only those who are materialistic and obsessed to your wealth will be with you. i bet you, if one day you become poor, i would like to see how you will like a piece of SHIT !! like when you say poorer people like a SHIT!!! and you are always right!!f**k o**!!

damn it...'underestimate', just hate this word much. there is no need to underestimate others as all of us are just the same, HUMAN BEING..... you are not a God. f**king pissed off...damn you people. if you think you are just very good, just go to HELL!!....(as if you dont need HELL for sure and guarantee a ticket to heaven...)

sorry with my languages but this blog is the place i can express all over....bare with me....

Weight on me

2009-04-21T05:19:00.000-07:00

it is not about how fat i am, or how round i am, but it is the burden i carried through the day and night. being a guy is not easy, especially when a boy becoming a man, he will carry more responsibilities as he realize.

as a guy in the age of 23, which is not young, and not old either, i asked myself many times.

what is the best thing i did in my life?
what is the best moment in my life?
and what is the next step for tomorrow?

i did get various of answer. it keep me firm till another question popped out in my mind.

how many failure in my life?
how many faults i did in my life?
how many people i hurt in my life?

i guess, the answer still the same. so embarrassed to say but, i can't recall some of it, but for whats in my mind, it is uncountable. i wish i can throw it far far away.

days passed by, the weight on me grew to another extend. the hopes 'they' put on me, is killing me slowly. i could not find anything that could boost back my confidence. for now, i am just trying to relax and enjoy my life. i don't know what will happen tomorrow. (who ever know that?). and i am shaking when i think of future of myself.

it seems a bit of darkness in front of me, as i lost in the way, which i carved myself......

time just passed by

2009-04-13T00:22:00.000-07:00

yesterday when i saw both of you walking with us, i felt, both of you are getting old. i still remember how you hold my hand when we wanted to cross the road. i still remember every moment when with you all. both of you are the most important person in my life. i just cant imagine my life without you all.

time passed by so fast. a glimpse of eye, all of us grew up, brenda already working, and she is trying out her best as a daughter, and also sister. i am proud of her. jacky is carving his own way, to built up his future and he is leaving next month. i believe all of us, will let him go with a heavy heart. both stella and lawrence, still living in their own fantasy and dream. they will grew up, and we as the elder, will get old.

yeah, jacky is leaving soon. for us, he is still like a small boy. however, i believe, time will make him stronger and independent. i have trust in him, because he is my only bro, beloved bro. jacky, still remember our promise?
we wanted to give out all our best, so that, no one ever look down on us anymore. i proved my worth, how about you? i wish you all the best. now, its time for me, to carry out responsibilities you been carried when i am not around, as a son. i will take back my responsibilities from you.

there are many words i cant say when face to face. the egoism as a elder brother haunted me. haha!! but all of us will miss you for sure. if you have time, try to blog, and let me know your life there. for now, try to excell in your studies. it might be tough but if you focus and have the will, no one can stop you. you proved that when you showed us your result. no one is there to critisized.

mum will be the one who cant let you go. both pa and ma are getting old. yesterday when i saw them, i feel so touched. and because of you, they given their all out. see how pa walk while bearing the pain at his leg? and look how they sweat for you? dont ever let us down and come back as what your ambition.

all of us, waiting for your graduation...and this will be our promise...in 5 years time, come back and reunion again with dreams accomplished..gamateh!!all the best..

なぜ私は君と恋に落ちるでした

2009-04-07T06:05:00.000-07:00

なぜ私は君と恋に落ちるでした

why have i?
fallen for you?
no matter how much time passes,
i thought that you would always be here,
but you choose a different road..

why wasnt i?
able to convey you?
my feelings that were growing everyday and night,
the words begin to overflow,
but i know they wont reach you now

from the first day i met you,
i felt like i knew you,
and the two of us melted together so naturally,
wherever we would go,
it would be together,
it was so natural for you to be with me,
we became adults together,
but you choose a different road

for that day that holds a special meaning,
for the day where we can stand with happy faces,
for you looking beautiful while praying to God,
next to the person who is not me,
there is the figure of someone truly blessed,
so how am i supposed to see you off?

so why have i?
fallen for you?
we cant go back to the time,
or how we were,
i thought it through,
or how we were,

why wasnt i?
able to take your hand?
no matter how much time passes,
you were supposed to be at my side,
just like that,
but even though,
i say that i need you close to me,
i just pray that you will be happy forever,
no matter how lonely that makes me,
or how sad....

edited by a song

Tags from Pinky Babi babu

2009-04-01T04:58:00.000-07:00

001. Real Name:
HOE FOOK YONG @ HSI FOOK YONG

002. Nickname(s):
gallen/panda

003. Age:
18 years old..forever...no la....actually..23

004. Horoscope :
capricorn

005. Male or Female:
male

006. Elementary:
tadika happy-in mentakab

007. Middle School:
alot wo...sk(1)simpang lima klang, srb sacred heart english, sk(1) tengku bendahara azman

008. High School:
SMK Taman klang Utama, smk la salle klang, smk tengku ampuan rahimah

009. College School:
UTP

010. Hair colour:
red black

011. Long or Short:
short

012. Loud or Quiet:
loud when there is no microphone...quiet when i am sleeping(did i snore?)

013. Sweats or Jeans :
Jeans

014. Phone or Camera:
Both also got...

015. Health Freak:
swimmer, badminton player...(but i cant jump d, too tall..dun nid jump..hahaha)

016. Drink or Smoke:
no...cant drink and hate smokers/smoke

017. Do you have a crush on someone:
Hmm... nop

018. Eat or Drink:
eh...wat ques it tis?

019. Piercings:
fingers, my staples

020. Tattoos:
plz..hate it

021. Social or Anti- Social:
social

Firsts
023. First piercing:
forget d lo...there are alot of scars

024. First relationship :
19...during form 6

025. First Best Friend:
teh boon cheong, but lost contact d...

026. First Award:
3 and half years old, cute baby award

027. First Kiss :
.....secret..forget d..when i was small..so many ppl kissed me

028. First Pet:
die..her name is mimi, knocked down by a car in front of me...still rem hw she cried...

029. First Big Vacation:
went to sarawak

030. First Love at first sight :
come on...it doesnt exists...its nt love...shud b admire

031. First Big Birthday:
01.01.2002

032. First Surgery:
2002...my eyes

033. First sport you joined:
badminton..football

This or That
034. Orange or Apple juice:
orange

035. Rock or Rap:
rock

036. Country or Screamo:
Country

037. NSYNC or Backstreet boys:
BSB~tell me why!!!

038. Britney spears or Christina Aguilera:
Britney Spears!! Circus...

039. Night or Day:
Night.

040. Sun or Moon:
Moon...

041. TV or Internet:
INTERNET!!!

042. Playstation or xbox:
play-sta-tion

043. Kiss or hug:
both...piggy...when wan give me??

044. Iguana or turtle:
Turtles

045. Spider or bee:
OMG....i will kill them b4 me

046. Fall or spring:
Spring..bouncy bouncy..hahha

047. Limewire or iTunes:
i dont download..

048. Soccer or baseball:
soccer

Currently
049. Eating:
quantity...nt quality...frens...u knw well

050. Drinking:
orange juice..slurp..

051. Excitement level :
everyday shock sendiri

052. I’m about to:
sleep, damn tired...

053. Listening to:
SNSD>>GEE gee gee baby baby baby

054. Plan for today:
on9...kacau ppl

055. Waiting for:
scholar..when u wan masuk??

056. Energy Level:
100%...bcos haven makan...i am very energetic..after eat...feel sleepy

057. Thinking of someone:
ya...piggy..where r u?

Future
058. Want kids?:
da most...4, if can 2 boys 2 gals

059. Want to get married?:
Yup .... wana be loved and love

060. When?:
financially stable

061. How many kids do you want:
4....

062. Any name on the mind:
1. hoe shin tong

2. hoe shin nee

3. hoe shin wee

4. hoe shin lun

hahah....crapp!!!

063. What did you want to be when you were little:
power ranger

064. Careers in mind:
instrument and control engineer

065. Mellow future or wild:
wild..wahahahaha

066. Something you would never try:
commit suicide

067. When do you want to die:
i am realli sket thinking of it..tats y i am enjoying every single moment

Which is the better in the boy/girl you like (in the future)
068. Lips or Eyes :
everything about her

069. Romantic or Funny?:
matured

070. Shorter or Taller?:
shorter

071. Protective or Caring?:
love me will b enough

072. Romantic or Spontaneous?:
erm....dun nid la..as long in her heart got me

073. Nice Stomach or Nice Arms?:
doesnt even concern me

074. Sensitive or Loud?:
doesnt even concern me

075. Hook-up or Relationship?:
Relationship

076. Trouble Maker or Hesitant?:
matured

077. Muscular or normal:
doesnt even concern me

Have you ever
078. Kissed a stranger:
Nop

079. Broken a bone:
nope

080. Lost glasses or contacts:
i wont

081. Ran away from home:
never...haha...i love my family

082. Held a gun/knife for self defence:
yeah...i was robbed by drug addict

083. Killed somebody:
yeah...i killed ants

084. Broken some one’s heart:
....................uncountable noun

085. Had your heart broken:
haiz...da ans so obvious

086. Been arrested:
impossible

087. Cried when someone died:
haven till this extend..but when mimi died..i did cried

088. Liked a friend more than a friend:
.....mayb...who knws?

Do you believe in
089. Yourself:
always...my motto, i wun something that i have no confident on doin it successfully ..kia su attitude

090. Miracles:
yeah..happens everywhere

091. Love at first sight:
Nope

092. Heaven:
Yup

093. Santa Claus:
No present for me oso

094. Tooth Fairy:
tipu punya

095. Kiss in the first date :
haiz...so paiseh leh

096. Angels:
when i was small...i bliv da angels was around me always...

Answer Truthfully
097. Is there 1 person you want to be with right now?
yeah

098. Are you seriously happy with where you’re in life now?
nope..i am still in da pursuit of happiness

099. Do you believe in God?
Yup

100. Post as 100 truths and tag 10 people.

1. piggy, u la..u must do lo...(from panda)
2. no one...
3. no one...
4.ok la..lazy...
5.???
6.....
..
.

Raining again

2009-03-30T04:50:00.001-07:00

it is raining again. God jus knew what sort of feeling i have...

Site visit Part 1

2009-03-30T03:19:00.000-07:00

last week, a bunch of trainees from DD, DFE, Petronas went for site visit in Kuala Terengganu. even though i am the only chinese here, i was not spacing out and yet i went through it ,enjoy every single moments. racial is not an issue here in petronas.everyone was so friendly. for learning purposes, it might not meet some of our expectation, but there is a point we gotta remember for life, which is the memories and also the bonding between friends.

there are so many picture taken on our more than 5 hours journey. here we are...

nice scenery rite?

this is the another scenery during our trip

for those who never been to site/oil and gas terminal. dont worry. i already included in the picture below. who ever can deny the greatness of science and technology?

even an oil rig can be very beautiful. i will post the scenery at nite in next post.

here we are, in Hotel Awana, one of the high profile hotel here.
this picture was took from the balcony in front the room.

we are able to snap some of very nice picture here. seriously enjoying the beauty of
our nature.haha!!

its is nice right?

what about this?

this is the second day of our trip, we went to OGT, just not too far from TCOT. look at everyone of us, look so happy with the cover all.(picture below) , (it is damn hot you know)

look at this gayish pictue where i was surrounded by gays.
i am nice to hug yea? puff puff....

in the evening, it is the heaven for all of us. why? it is our time to enjoy ourself.
this is the picture of almost drown guy. he was hardly touch the depth of the swimming pool. *areen!! you are nobody in water. (he used to be very hyperactive, but in water, his ability decreased)*

we also played football on the beach. damn!! it was tiring when you run on the sand. drain our energy fast.

this is me guarding the post and successfully denied a goal(even though i plunged down, i did it) can you see it?
*raveen, come on! my diet still ongoing!!*

look at this, we are flying. i jumped quite high, hurgh!!!hahaha!!

this is the pictue which i wouldnt prefer to show but due to 'high demand' (hahahaha), to expose my weakness, perut buncit was shown in this picture but wait, can a fat guy jump so high?

the last pictue i wana show for site vist part 1. 4 guys from different department in silly pose. look at the guy expression below with white shirt. hahahah!!!

*for your information, all these pictures was taken by the same person, or i should say, same camera. i do not know if there are any exchange of hands when pictures was taken. hehe...enjoy!!!*

Site visit part 2 will be post in asap, once i got all the pictures and more cools picture to be reveal.hahaha....sorry if too perasan.